Bosses, Schmosses! Who Cares What They Say!
by red-flower11
Summary: Sakucentric. "But you can only come with us, if you kiss me." Sakura is Sasuke's secretary. She also has two overprotective siblings and a huge mansion. Kami help her. SasuSaku HIATUS
1. A happy intro and a crazy family!

Enjoy!

Standard Disclaimer begrudgingly applied.

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"Bosses, schmosses!"

"Yeah, who cares what they say?!"

"I do!" I yell irritatedly. "You guy's don't understand, you don't have jobs!" I mean, come on! Here's Tenten and Ino telling me I shouldn't care that, my boss said I shouldn't leave until I got him his last cappuccino at nine, it was eight fifty-two.

They're begging me to come with them to some nightclub, they say they can't go without me. Psh, whatever. I'm just the one with all the money, since they haven't gotten a decent job right now.

"We do too, have jobs!" Comes Ino's loud, obnoxious voice. I sigh.

"Yes, I am very well aware of that, I meanyou don't have GOOD jobs." I can't help it, they always hate it when I bring up the fact that I have a much better paying job. I am the freaking assistant of one of _the_ most successful men in the world and he isn't to mean . . .Yeah, I'm lying through my teeth.

"Yeah, yeah. We all know you're the high and mighty," Ino says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey, hey! We just haven't found are calling yet. Just you wait, we'll be rich . . . someday," Tenten says dramatically, placing her right foot on a chair and putting her arm out. I snort. Yeah, sure. When pigs fly.

"Of course you will. I'm just saying, you guys can't expect me to pay for you're crap all the time." I explain, smiling (and lying), sweetly. I can't help it, I have to give my friends moral support, even if it's fake. You know, because I'm nice like that. Tenten raises her chocolate, brown eyebrow. She caught me, oh well.

"Speaking of which, Sakura, do you have any suggestions for, like, an okay job, maybe?" Ino asks, pathetically. Really. It was pretty sad, she has her hands all balled together. I mean, she was practically begging. Yeah. Sad.

Tenten then decides to join in on the desperation, how sad. Here they stand, pouting at me, begging at me. I sigh, for what, like the, third time tonight?

"Well, um . . ." Then an idea pops into my little, pink head, "There are some spaces here!" I exclaim, excitement evident in my small voice. Tenten and Ino look at me suspiciously, before asking in unison:

"What kind of spaces?" I think for a moment, placing my stout finger to my lower lip.

"Well, there's; one janitor opening and an opening for the masseuse."

I mull over what I had just said, I don't think they'll go for the janitor thing. And I don't think they know we have a ma-

"OMG, you guys have a masseuse?!" They practically scream at me. I began to rub my temples. Okay, that was a pain to the ears. All of a sudden I hear a voice, from the open doorway connected to my own office.

"Sakura! Who the hell is screaming in your office?" My boss growls, he's probably irritated too, who wouldn't be? It was, after all, Ino and Tenten, the loudest of my colleagues. Ino and Tenten begin to shrink away from the open doorway.

"Sorry! It's just my friends, they'll be leaving soon!" I call back, glaring at Ino and Tenten as I did so. Ino and Tenten smile back, little innocent smiles.

Which, I might have found, possibly, cute. Had I not been so frustrated with them. But instead of yelling at them and making my boss even angrier, I growl.

A habit picked up from my lovely boss. And just so you know, I am being sarcastic about the whole 'lovely' thing. He's the farthest from the word you can get.

"You guys are so dead," I hiss under my breath at them, they wince and then Ino looks like she just realized something.

"Um, d-don't you have a cappuccino to serve?" She says pointing subtly at the digital clock on my desk. I glance over, eight fifty-nine. I glare at them again.

"Your lucky," I growl out, before walking over to the mechanical thing that kept stuff warm. I still have no Idea what the hell the thing is, he never really said.

Just told me to keep his cappuccinos in it, so I did. I pull it open and grab the glass bottle from Starbucks, for him. I walk by Tenten and Ino and pause a moment to glare icily at them, again.

I should really stop hanging out with my boss so much, he's rubbing off on me. They tremble and I smirk, satisfied. I then proceed to step into the neighboring office, cappuccino in hand.

He sits in his mahogany chair, his feet propped up on his large desk, his black, apple laptop delicately held in his hands, on his lap.

Where a laptop is supposed to be, you know, that's why it's called a LAPtop. Yeah, bet you didn't realize that, 'cause I sure as hell didn't. I used to think it was Labtop but nooooo. He opens his mouth to speak, breaking me out of my reverie.

"Sakura? What are you staring at?" He asks smirking at me. God, I hate it when he does that, it makes me feel so insignificant and small. I take a deep breath.

"Here, Sasuke." I place his cappuccino on his desk, avoiding his feet. He watches me intently as I pull myself away; I wonder why he always does that? Its like he's expecting me to jump him and put a gun to his head.

Pft. Like I would kill him, he's like my freaking, annoying as hell boss. Who, by the way, pays me advance a lot for being good. And by good, I mean, by not raping him.

He says its because I don't ask him for anything or touch him. He probably has a girl syndrome or something. I would, if girls latched themselves to me almost every waking day of my life.

You know, I'll bet he's scared of me, the almighty, holier than thou, Uchiha Sasuke is scared of little 'ol me. Aw, how cute. He's such a baby. I turn swiftly to leave him to his business when he calls my name.

"Sakura?" I spin on my heel and face him, curious. He doesn't say anything else, just stares at me. Not eye to eye, just at my face. I wait patiently, standing still. I'm trained after all- And no. Not like a dog, dammit.

Around a minute goes by and still nothing comes out of his mouth, except for maybe a bit of spit, but I can't tell from this distance. I decide to ask him what he wants, I'd REALLY want to go home sometime tonight.

"Yes, Sasuke?" I say in my (totally awesome) professional tone. He jumps, as if he forgot I'm standing here, right in front of him. He then closes his laptop and sets it next to his cappuccino, which by the way, he still hasn't even opened!

I watch, carefully, as he clasps his hands in front of his mouth, maybe so I can't see the drool. Wait, how does he know I can see his spit, I only thought that! What if he reads minds?!

And if he can . . . how come he hasn't fired me yet, or at least set me straight? I do think mean things about him on a daily basis. Usually, because he's harassing some poor innocent businessman. Really, its looks so mean. I can't help but feel sorry for them.

"Sakura?" He says again, I look up at him. Wow, I hadn't realized my gaze had shifted to the floor. I stare at him expectantly. He pauses.

"What do you think of me?"

. . .What the hell? What kind of question is that? I stare at him, bewildered. What brought all this up?

"As a, um, f-friend. I suppose." He finishes, probably after seeing my expression.

I sigh in relief. Then I ponder for a minute. You know, I never really thought about it. All he really is, is my boss, who's extremely sexy and arrogant. But other than that, I think of him the way I have any boss. He's just a bit more . . . controlling. Just between you and me, I think he wants to rule the world! No, seriously.

Except for the fact that none of my bosses were the same age as me. Yeah. Can you believe it? Sasuke's one of the richest guys in all Japan and he's only twenty-three. Oh wait, I should probably be answering his question, shouldn't I?

"I guess . . .I'm not quite sure what your wanting to hear," I reply in all modesty. I really didn't understand what he was asking. Did he want me to say, 'Oh, you're a hot guy, who's kind of self-centered and cruel but has a good side deep down!' Yeah. WAY deep down, but I would most likely edit that last part out.

He gazes at me for a minute before saying,

"I mean, as a person. Am I mean? Am I harsh? Am I kind? What do you think?" I tilt my head to the side, questioningly.

I get what he means, but . . . why? Why is he asking this and more importantly why is he asking ME this? I'm just his personal assistant. You know the one that drives with him everywhere and has a really cool PDA, to tell him what to do and when to do it. Yup, that's me.

I decide to say something vague. So he doesn't get any ideas or anything. You know what I mean.

"Well, you're kind of cruel to people, you are very arrogant, you don't really have much self-control when it comes to your co-workers, you're very good looking, you can be quite possessive of what's yours, you have a coffee fetish,

"Your laid back when no one but me is around and I guess, if you really put your mind to it, you can be quite the person to hang out with . . . At least, that's what I've observed," I finish lamely. I really can't believe I said ALL that wasn't I going with the vague idea?! Or did that just slip my mind?

I look back at Sasuke. Wow, again with the looking down, how come I never realize this?! He has an enormous smirk spreading across his face.

I raise an eyebrow, and he does too . . . freaking copycat. I guess then he decided to speak, because his mouth opens and words begin coming out. But hey. What do I know, right?

"Well, that was . . . quite interesting. You know me, very well, Sakura," He smirks again and had this creepy look in his eyes.

I think he expects me to answer, because he seems to be waiting for something.

"I guess so. I _am_ your personal secretary, you know," I say lightly, putting a strand of my bangs that fell out of place, behind my ear.

He watches my hand as I place it back down at my side. He gets up from his, comfortable, well at least it looked that way, position in his chair and walks up to me. I'm standing in the doorway; well aware my friends can hear every word of this and can see me as well . . . damn.

He stands in front of me and I just watch him, patiently. Not flustered, or embarrassed. I don't get that way with Sasuke, I trained myself.

If I was going to work with this man, there was no way he was going to make me humiliated. At least, not in front of my closest friends. He can do that around people I DON'T know. Hell, I do that on my own . . .shut-up.

"So, um, can I go home now? I'm late as it is," I mumble quietly.

I heard from Naruto, a co-worker of Sasuke's, not mine, that he hated being asked for things by girls, you know, his girl syndrome. He smirks again and leans his face, into my bubble.

MY PERSONAL bubble.

"Go ahead, Sa-ku-ra," He whispers in my ear, blowing lightly in my ear canal, and yeah, he had said my name with those gay little syllable spaces. Ugh. Wow, okay. What the hell set his hormones on over-drive? I can't help but twitch, ever so slightly.

Sasuke pulls away and then places a light kiss onto my, unsuspecting, cheek. No seriously, what the hell?

I just gulp some extra spit down and wait. Making sure my face doesn't turn red. He stands up straight, 'cause he's, like, taller than me. And stuff . . . No freaking comment. He smirks at me and turns to walk back to his desk and with a wave says, "See you, Sakura."

I immediately spin on my heel and march out the door. I completely ignore the curious and suspicious glances from my friends, grab my coat, shut down my laptop, stick it in its carrier and head out the other door.

Ino and Tenten follow me like ghosts, as I speed walk. I notice that the entire building is empty, except for the very obese policeman on the first floor. He's always there, eating his little donuts.

Sasuke works late so I have to stay late with him, unfortunately. When I reach the elevator, Tenten and Ino rushing to my side, I press the button marked 1 and wait.

I felt Tenten and Ino do little side-glances at each other. Most likely, mentally pondering to each other about how to ask exactly what had just occurred only moments ago.

Yes, you'd think I'd be experiencing at least a little inner turmoil, but no, I was prepared, emotionally, for things like this. Scarring, horrid things like this. Sasuke has reached a whole NEW level of ew.

The elevator reaches ground level, and my two buddies and me walk out the elevator, passed the fat cop and out the door to the enclosed parking lot.

"So?" Ino asks carefully, pushing her long, platinum blond hair over her shoulder. I scrunch my face up and sigh. Again.

"So what?" I bite out, I meant for it to sound oblivious, but it came out frustrated. Huh. Wonder how that happened. Tenten looks slightly surprised.

"What? He always does that?!" She exclaims, her hand to her face in horror. Ino gasps, taking on the identical position of Tenten. I feel my left eye twitch. I swear to God, I'm going to murder them!

"No. He never does that, actually. This is a first, I think maybe he hit his head or something," I say, my voice leveled. Ino and Tenten sigh with relief, their hands to their hearts.

As we reached my red Porsche, a gift from Sasuke, he said if I was going to occasionally drive him around I would need a good car, Ino thought of something very stupid to say.

"Maybe he was sex deprived for a few days and he saw you as an outlet. But since you, resisted him so easily, he concluded to just letting you leave and now he's taking his sexual frustration out by fucking the cop!"

"INO!" Tenten and me screech. I don't even want to imagine my boss, doing something so very disturbing, to the poor police.

I feel like puking.

I clamber into my car, Tenten in shotgun and Ino in back. Tenten and I are still shooting glares at her. She just shrugs.

"What? It could happen," She replies, defending herself and doing one crappy job of it. I decide to ignore her and start up my _favorite_ car, even if it smells gross like Sasuke, like, twenty-four/seven.

He's almost always driving my car. I can't help it.

"Look, guys. I really don't feel like going clubbing, so, how about we go to my pad and watch a movie?" I ask hesitantly, backing out of the parking space.

Tenten's face carries a ginormous grin and Ino's is a tad disappointed. Oh well. Making one friend happy is enough for me.

Normally, everyone's ecstatic about hanging at my house, I live with my older brother and sisters. And my brother, well, he's kinda sorta rich.

I know it sounds weird to say it because I'm so used to it by now. He's twenty-nine, and he's a well-known gang member. Let's say that, everyone in the gang gets a shitload of money, for doing certain tasks for the leader.

I have only met one other member, he says the rest are too aggressive (he's just scared I'll like them), the one I've met, his name is Deidara. He's cool-ish. Yeah, ish. Because he's also annoying-ish.

"Yay! We're going to hang out at Sakura's awesome house, with her awesome sister!" Tenten cheers, pumping her fist into the air. Ino brightens up at a prospect Tenten and me am well aware of.

"And her very hot brother!" Ino joins in the ludicrous cheering. I roll my eyes, leaving the parking lot. Ino's always pestering my brother; he's kind of annoyed by her, actually. I shrug, hope he doesn't kill me for this.

Ah, what am I thinking? He couldn't kill me even if he tried. Hah!

Our drive was filled with enigmatic exclamations, and over endearing words, about my poor brother.

I pulled into the driveway of my three-story house, it's white with large pillars. It looks like a mini version of the White House. Really. I park the car and remove the keys from the ignition.

Grabbing my bag, I climb out of my lovely Porsche. No, I'm not obsessed. Shut-up! Ino and Tenten following happily. We walk into the white wash garage, filled with car parts and three different cars, belonging to my three siblings.

A black Lamborghini, a shiny white Corvette and a light purple convertible, hood back. I snort at the last vehicle, damn it, she's home.

Tenten and Ino are grimacing as we walk by the car. I pull my keys out of my jacket pocket to unlock the door, but before I can get it into the lock, the door comes flying open.

"Agh!" I feel myself loose my footing, when the door collides with my right shoulder. The keys fling out of my hand and slide across the concrete ground.

I close my eyes tightly, awaiting impact. I wait, and wait and wait. Nothing . . . Strange. Oh no! Have the laws of physics gone out of whack! But before I can start screaming about the world coming to an end, a voice sounds through my ears.

"Hey, baby, how's it going? And sorry about the door," The deep voice of my older brother can be heard.

I open my eyes slowly and see his shocking, dark red hair hanging down and tickling my face. His brown eyes staring intently into mine, awaiting forgiveness.

Oh, good, no end of the world today! I notice that the gray floor is inches from my skull, where my brother's hand is. Thank God, he has good reflexes.

Wait, didn't I say his eyes were awaiting forgiveness, well, I should give him that then, huh?

"It's okay! No blood; no foul!" I grin, his eyes brighten and he pulls us back up. I notice Ino's eyes have hearts in them; he's shirtless, and Tenten has retrieved my flying keys.

"HI, Sasori-kun!" Ino about screeches at my brother. He glares at her, irritatedly. I laugh nervously.

"So, hey! Sasori, where's Mika-chan?" Tenten asks, purposefully diverting Sasori's attention. He turns his gaze to her.

"She's upstairs, getting dressed. She just got up," He replies. I sigh, typical Mikazuki. She stays up all night on her RPG's and sleeps through the whole day.

Yeah, and she spends the time when she's not RP-ing, making and repairing cars and eating. For money.

The car thing, not the eating part. You don't get paid for eating, though that would be totally awesome!

Then I recall what Sasori's wearing, or lack thereof. He has no shirt and a pair of black shorts on, at the end of fall, why?

"Okay. Hey Sasori, where were you going?" I ask looking him up and down. He gives me a curious glance, before looking down at himself to see what I was analyzing.

He's probably thinking he forgot his pants or something. "You know, before you hit me in the head with the door."

"Oh. I was just going to close the garage door. I can't leave this place open, with all the expensive cars in here," He explains after he realizes my meaning.

I nod my head and then turn my head when I see Tenten jump, like she just remembered something.

"Here." She hands me my keys of flight; I smile and thank her as I shove the keys into my pocket.

"Well, I guess I'll do what I came out here for, I'm cold," Sasori says rubbing his biceps and giving an exaggerated shudder. I roll my eyes when he glances an expectant look at me.

"What?" I ask, even though I already know what he wants. He nods to his jacket that is wrapped around my body.

Sorry, guess I forgot to mention that my coat isn't exactly _my_ coat. I'm only borrowing it because he insisted, after Mikazuki shredded mine up in some weird car part she was working on. It was on accident, but I still killed her for destroying my favorite jacket.

"Fine." I mumble as I shrug off his black jacket and toss it at him. He smiles as he slips it onto his bare shoulders and proceeds to walk to the front of the garage to shut the big white door.

I nod to Ino and Tenten and step into my house, slipping my boots off and placing them next to the door.

Tenten and Ino do the same, but before I can lead them to the movie room a big blur burst from the door at the top of the stairs and comes darting at full speed towards me. I wince as the blur wraps its arms around my neck and starts excitedly shaking me around.

I think I'm getting shaking baby syndrome, if that's possible. Do only baby's get that or what? Oh well, better not think hard when my brain's being violently shook back and forth, it might go 'splody.

"Yay! Sakura, my baby, your home!" The voice of my oldest sister rang through my, er, ringing ears. I hear Sasori come walking in behind us and I can feel his cold glare.

"I thought I told you not to call her that," He snaps menacingly. Heading toward us and stopping Mikazuki from shaking me any longer. Thank God for Sasori.

Mikazuki makes an angry pout, a strand of her long orange hair falling into her face.

"How come _you_ can call her that, Sasori-nii?" Mikazuki grumbled her arms still tight around my poor neck.

Her white T-shirt smelling of oil and making me scrunch up my nose. Sasori grimaces at her his bright red hair shining in the light from the living room.

"I'm allowed, because I'm her favorite!" Sasori growls as he grabs Mikazuki's arms and pry them off my neck.

I silently make a note to myself, give Sasori whatever he wants later, you owe him. Mikazuki frowns at him crossing her arms over her busty chest.

Seriously, what kind of twenty-eight year old, car mechanic acts like that? Oh yeah, the one who stays up all night playing video games and is totally obsessed with her youngest sibling. Haruno Mikazuki.

I sigh.

"You are not! I'm her favorite, I'm a girl!" Mikazuki yells back in Sasori's face. He growls again and leans in on her face, a spark of blue electricity shooting between their foreheads. Or did I imagine that?

I stood between them but I wasn't tall enough to reach the electricity, thank God. Again.

"Shut up, Mikazuki! Of course, I'd be here favorite; I've always taken care of her! Right, Sakura?"

Shit.

Damn it, why the hell did he have to bring me into this?! I cower away from his intense stare. Mikazuki's staring at me too. Oh crap, crap, crap, shit, crap, crap! All of a sudden I heard light footsteps on the stairs.

"Hey, what are you to doing to our poor little Sakura-chan?" Came the voice of a VERY good-looking man. Or maybe he just looks good right now, since he's kinda . . .saving my ass and all.

He was Mikazuki's boyfriend. He hung around here all the time. His name's Kazuki Hihihara, he has a light green colored hair.

Weird huh? But I'm not allowed to say anything about it because I have PINK hair, yes its natural actually.

ANYWAY. This twenty-nine year old guy was my savior. Thank Jesus, yup. Jesus not God. Same diff though. I sigh, oh well.

He descended the stairs and I jumped away from Sasori and Mikazuki to glomp him. Hey, why shouldn't I glomp my savior, Jesus!

His face is surprised, as he pats my head, awkwardly. But I'm too thankful to care right now. I stand on my tiptoes and lean toward his ear.

"Thank you! So much, I owe you one!" He smiles but immediately shifts his face to look at my oldest siblings.

Then I felt a fierce glare piercing into . . . Kazuki, yeah. Not me. Weird huh? I can kind of understand Sasori, but Mikazuki?

Shouldn't she be glaring at me? I am the one holding her boyfriend in my arms and whispering things in his ear.

Yet her evil glare is directed to him.

My sister never ceases to amaze me, at her dedication. She then stalks over to us and I quickly release Kazuki, don't want him to die. That would kind of suck. Mikazuki stops in front of us and her face goes from super angry to sweetly sickening. Kazuki must have noticed, because he flinched at her scary smile.

"Kazuki-kun, I think you should go home now." He has a dirt bike. In case you were wondering where his car was. Kazuki gulps and nods, he gives me a light kiss on the forehead like he usually does.

Making Sasori growl quietly, Kazuki nervously kissed Mikazuki's lips. He speed walked it out of there giving Sasori a slight nod as he passed him, the same for Ino and Tenten.

Who by the way were up against the wall in fear of the raging older siblings. Mikazuki's mouth opens but before she can speak an annoying voice more annoying then Ino's comes from the Kitchen.

And my last sibling came waltzing out the doorway with a glass of Bloody Mary in her hands. Her glasses thick and black as ever, her red-orange hair as unkempt as usual.

Karin Haruno.

"What are you guys doing?" She asks taking a delicate sip from her drink, pinky out. We all turn, all eyes on her.

Her faded purple button-up shirt only buttoned to, above her navel, pair of short black shorts, only meant for sleeping and hanging around the house, and a pair of high-heeled boots, that go up to mid thigh.

She was about to leave.

"We were just scaring away Kazuki-chan!" I answer swiftly, I don't want Mikazuki to hurt her again.

Even if she's a bitch to most people, she's really only an ass to the people who get on her bad side. So she really doesn't pay me any heed and I don't mind at all.

But Mikazuki does, she can't stand the fact that Karin doesn't give a shit about me, neither can Sasori, but he's a guy so he leaves the cat fights to his younger sister.

And Mikazuki depends on him to keep me safe from flying books and vases, thrown by none other than my two sisters. Yup. Our family loves each other very much. No really.

Karin sometimes looks to me as an outlet when her latest boyfriend dumps her or cheats on her. Or if she just found someone new and doesn't now how to let it go easily. She says I'm her only real sibling in this house.

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'm leaving. So make sure bitchy tomboy over there doesn't destroy the house okay, Sakura?" Karin orders politely, if you can say bitch politely.

Mikazuki holds herself back, you can tell, she has a few veins popping out of her head. Huh? What was that? Byakugan? OMG, she can't have Byakugan! Oh wait, false alarm, she's just mad. Whew.

I nod, and Karin smiles. She sets her empty glass on the table and spins on her heel. "Okay, bye Sakura, Sasori, Sakura's friends, bitch!" She calls walking out the door to her light purple convertible.

If your wondering where she's going, she's going to work. She's a bartender but she flirts with the guys and gets lots of money in tips. She helps pay the bills. Its quiet for a moment as the revving of the convertibles' engine can be heard and slowly it disappears.

"So, um, Baby. What are your friends doing here at ten?" Sasori asks, just trying to start conversation. Ino and Tenten smile like Cheshire cats. I groan, remembering I have to feed them some movie or they'll force me to go to some stupid club.

"They wanted to watch movie," I say simply. Sasori nods.

"Can I watch a movie with you?" Mikazuki's booming voice could be heard. Her hands at her chest, her face like a puppy dogs.

This, I might have found cute had she not been twenty-eight. She's a little old for puppy faces. But none the less I reply:

"Sure, whatever. Sasori, would you like to also?" I decide to ask, might as well he's gonna ask anyway. He smiles and nods, then turns to Mikazuki and smirks.

"See that, Mikazuki? She _asked_ me," He says, sneering. Mikazuki's eyes narrow as she glares ruefully at him. He then wraps his arm around my shoulders, still sneering at my oldest sister.

"Come on, Baby. Let's go find a movie," Sasori says cheerfully, while leading me up the stairs to our movie room. Its like I'm the guest and he's showing me where the room is. Like I haven't lived here for ELEVEN years.

Mikazuki just pouts, but her pout quickly vanishes into a smile when she sees Tenten and Ino step by her. She pounces on them, and wraps her arms around their shoulders. A devious smile spreads over her face as she talks quietly to a confused Ino and an ecstatic Tenten.

I shrug; whatever she's planning probably has something to do with Sasori, not me.

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"AGH! NO! DON'T GO THAT WAY! YOU STUPID! THAT'S GONNA KILL YOU!"

"NO DUH, ASS TARD! OF COURSE, HE WANTS TO KILL YOU, WHY ELSE WOULD HE COME AT YOU WITH A KNIFE?! TO WISH YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY? I DON'T THINK SO!"

"HELL YES! STAB THAT BITCH!"

"YES, RUN! NO, DON'T RUN THAT WAY! YES, GO THAT WAY! NO, NOT THAT WAY! YES, THAT WAY! NO, YOUR OTHER THAT WAY! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, N- SHIT! HE DIED!"

And so went the night of horror movies, that Mikazuki picked out . . .My ears sting. I-I think they're about to bleed.

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I lay half asleep on the sofa, well, not exactly the sofa. More like Sasori's chest and Ino's legs, oh yeah, and Tenten's head. Heh, human bed. Sweet. I shifted slightly trying to escape the big cluster of my favorite people on Earth, well we're missing some people. But that's okay.

I manage to, with lots and lots of struggling, fall of the couch. With a 'thud' I hit the carpeted floor. I rubbed my butt and grumbled a couple cuss words, which I won't taint your virgin ears with.

Even though, my friends and family have probably said enough to last the rest of your teenage life. But still, a girl can try, right?

I stood up silently and dusted my slacks off, Sasuke's fault, I glance back at the human bed, Tenten's arm was bent at a very odd angle, Mikazuki's foot was all in Sasori's face, purposefully or not, I'm not sure.

Ino had her head in a very strange place, let's just say Sasori will be scarred for life when he wakes up and Sasori's knee was continuously hitting Mikazuki's face, they seem comfortable enough.

I stretch my arms in the air. I wonder what time it is? Oh wait. I have a cell phone it my back pocket. I turn around and pull the phone out of my butt.

Pocket! Butt pocket! That's what I meant! I swear! I unlocked my phone and the eerie white light flicked on, drowning the room in a luminescent blur.

I squinted my eyes, it read three forty-two. I yawned, as if my brain hadn't been tired until it noticed the clock.

I yawned again.

Man. Yawning hurts your jaw, what the hell is a yawn anyway? You know, I bet they created yawning so that it hurts you so much and annoys you so much, that you give up and decide to go to bed.

Stupid yawns.

All of a sudden my phone, in my hand, just busted out vibrating and lasting a loud song through the movie room.

"WHAT THE HE- WHO CALLS SOMEONE AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?!"

-

-

-

Hope you like! It's my first fanfiction and I'm only 13 so please, be nice.

review!,

red


	2. The reason for the late call?

Okies, first things first, I apologize for my last contact with you, I put the this thing up at two in the morning, I was sleepy. It was a school night.

Now onto the more important things in life, yeah, cuz apologies arent important, nope, not in the least. Heh.

Now time for a mood swing!

Oh my gosh! I can't believe I got reviews! Yeshes! I love you guys! So then here are a special thanks.

Special Thanks to:

disconnected15, -DeAd AppL3-, anime mushroom, Shika-kun'sKeba771, -my-name-is-V, pink-flower13, x0x0x0Raina-himex0x0x0x, itachi-is-mine, Bloody and Broken

Hopefully this chapter's ending will be better, if I'm lucky, I wont have to post this on at two in the morning again! Jeez, caffeine can only do so much.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. . .Gosh, why do they make you admit this to yourself it makes you wanna cry on the inside! On the inside, as in , like, not visible. I don't cry visibly, 'cept for in sad movies TT.

**red-flower:** I don't know why I cry during those their just so. . . sad

**Sakura:** duh.

**red-flower:** sniffles that was mean, you meany pants!

**Sakura:** I don't know her.

**ANYWAYS**, on with the story! 'Cause we all know that's why your here! Not to talk to me, how. . .sad. Sniffles.

XXXXXXXXX

_Recap:_

All of a sudden my phone, in my hand, just busted out vibrating and blasting a loud song through the movie room.

"WHAT THE HE- WHO CALLS SOMEONE AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?!"

Now this might surprise you, but I wasn't the one screeching my head off. It was Ino, duh. Who else, other than Karin, screams like a dying monkey?

I glare at her as she lifts her head up, her platinum hair looking dull in the dim light. Yes, I glare because she has awoken my siblings. The crazy ones, the crazy overprotective, possessive ones.

I sigh.

The phone vibrates again. I should answer that, huh. I flip the pink razor open and place it at my swollen ear, you know from all the yelling and screaming it went through last night, and just now.

"Hello?" I say irritatedly, as Sasori and Mikazuki watch me, with little stares. Then I hear the voice that comes from the other end.

"Sakura? I need you right now!" Comes my bi-polar boss.

Holy Shit!

When did he get my number? Maybe I was right, about the reading minds thing. What if he really can?!

Oh, wait. He is my boss, bosses know almost everything about their assistants.

Duh.

Now I feel, totally retarded. But on a happy note, at least I did figure out that he should have my number, that deserves some points, right?

"Sakura! Are you there?!" His voice sounds urgent over the phone and he also sound like he's on the brink of hysteria. Heh. That'd be funny, Sasuke, going insane.

Maybe I should wait a little longer to reply. Wait! What am I doing? He could be dying! Then again. . . No!

He could have lit my office on fire and in doing so, destroying my collection of manga I hide for entertainment. Sasuke's boring. Agh! If he's killing my manga than so help me-

"Sakura!" Oh yeah, he's on the line right now isn't he?

"Yes? What's going on?" I say calmly, fingering my hair, everyone's eyes on me.

This is very disturbing, I mean, who wants to be stared at while they have a private conversation. Gosh, what rude people.

I turn to face the projector screen, so I don't have to look at big owl eyes, watching my every move.

"Yeah, I need you to come to the office immediately, the copying room!" Sasuke yells into the phone. Is everyone out to destroy my ears, I mean, seriously.

I wonder what the guy could possibly do to the copying room, that he needed help with, _my _help. Well, I guess if he's calling me and not the fire station, nothing's on fire. _Yet._ My stupid conscious just decides to tack on that last little, happy word.

"Why?" I decide to ask the obvious question. If I'm going to go to my job at four in the morning, then it better be good.

"That doesn't matter now! Just get your ass over here, or your fired!" He growls loudly, then I hear a click and the infamous dial tone. Great, now he's gonna fire me. . . asshole.

I suppose I should hurry and get there before he decides to dispose of me.

"Hey, one of you!" I address the group of adults behind me, "I need you to get me some clothes that are suitable to wear to work. I have to leave."

Their eyes get wide and then I think something clicks in Sasori's head, because his little surprise-y face gets all mad and crap.

"You are not going to work, it's four in the morning," He says icily, glaring at my phone.

Yeah.

The guy just can't glare at me, which might have been sweet, had he not been frustrated with me and er, my phone. I glare back at him. Mikazuki jumps in the air next to him.

"I'll get your clothes!" She yells hopping on Sasori's bright head, I don't know what happened during her birth, I wasn't alive yet, maybe she was dropped on her head or something.

I'll bet Sasori was the one who did it. Maybe that's why they hate each other. Her broad smile keeps getting bigger as I hear the angry growls coming from underneath her.

"No! She's not going anywhere!" Sasori snaps, gripping Mikazuki's feet, the ones on his beautifully shiny hair, and chucks her across the room, lucky for her, there's a big blanket on the ground, from a previous night of movies.

One that didn't involve so much screaming.

"Agh! How dare you throw a girl!" Mikazuki's voice comes out muffled at first as she pulls her face out of the fluffy white blanket.

"Revenge!" She screams pouncing at him from the other side of the room.

As they tussled rolling back and forth on the couch, Ino and Tenten high-tail it out of the way. I quickly sneak out of the room my two terrified friends following me out.

"Ino, grab me some clothes, from my room, okay?" I order, I should get there as soon as possible. Grunts, yells and screams come from the, now closed, door.

If I didn't know any better than it'd sound like they were. . . But! I do know better! Thank God! Ino nods, her expression giddy.

Who invented the word 'giddy'? It just sounds creepy, it sounds like the name of a rapist clown.

'Hello, My name is Giddy the clown and I am going to rape you!'

I stifle a laugh at the thought, Tenten looks at me weird and I remember that I have a car to retrieve.

I signal for her to follow as we rush down the stairs, Ino will be able to find us in the garage, she's smart. . . Sort of.

I pick up a pair of flip-flops and bring them out the door with me, Tenten too, can't forget to bring your Tenten! We scurry over to my Porsche and I extract my keys from my pocket.

I toss them in Tenten's direction, she catches them easily, but gives me a questioning glance.

"I need you to drive while I get dressed!" I say hurriedly, as I see Ino come running out the door. She tosses me a bundle of clothes, and smiles.

"Those should work! Your going to see Sasuke-kun, right?" She asks slyly, but I'm to busy to care.

I just nodded absentmindedly, and bustle into the backseat of the car. Tenten opens the driver's door and yells to Ino as she climbs in.

"Ino! Make sure Sasori and Mikazuki Know where Sakura's at, when they're done killing each other!" Ino nods and disappears into the darkness that is my yard.

As Tenten's starts up the car, shes excited, and backs out, I begin pulling off my black, khaki slacks.

When I finally get the stupid fancy schmancy pants off, I grab the wad of clothes and begin to unravel them. My face turns dark as I see what Ino had in store for me.

I am holding a pair of black booty shorts and a very thin and very revealing tank top. Gee, thanks Ino. I look down at the shirt I am presently wearing.

A light pink button down blouse, ugh. I glare at it. Then sigh. And now you're probably wondering why I even have clothing like this, well, they're presents from the bartender, Karin.

Yes, I've never worn them before! Who'd where something like this, when you've got a grabbie, touchy feely older brother like Sasori?

Oh well. What choice have I got?

Now you're probably thinking, 'Why not wear your work clothes instead? They can't be that bad.'

Well, I hate these work clothes, and yes, they can be that bad. Have you ever worn slacks that are so tight you can't breath, and you don't even need your legs to breath!

Okay, I am a little bit uptight when it comes to blouses, they're girly. Yes, girly. . . I grew up with Sasori and tomboy Mikazuki. What did you think would happen to me?

"Sakura, could you _please _put some pants on?" Tenten asks, pleading at me through the rear mirror, "I feel weird, driving my pants-less friend around. Its creepy." She finishes.

I glare at her before gripping the booty shorts, you know the ones that almost, almost show your butt cheeks.

Ah, who am I kidding?

They do show your ass. I pulled them up and over my knees and covered my butt.

"There, you happy?" I ask bitterly at Tenten, she just ignores me. I guess I should just put the tank top on too.

As I'm unbuttoning my blouse, ew, I hear a loud booming noise come from outside and a white light flashes through the the car and abruptly vanishes.

I glance outside and see the water pelting at the window, sounding like millions of tiny crystals are hitting us. Tenten sighs, and talks about how much she loves the rain.

I ignore her and finish removing my shirt, I then grab for the tank top and pull it over my head. I can see myself in the rear view mirror, jeez, I look so much like Karin, it disgusts me.

"Just give me some glasses," I murmur to myself putting my other clothes on the seat next to me. Tenten stops her rain adoring and looks me over quickly.

"You know, you really need to cover up," She states the obvious turning the steering wheel left. I scowl at her, wait!

Cover up. . . Maybe there's a jacket or something in the trunk. I could just wear that. Tenten whistles some unknown tune as she pulls the car into the office's parking lot, the public one, the one that wasn't enclosed.

"Great, the fat police guy, just randomly decides to lock the employees lot!" Tenten exclaims looking out at the rain. My shoulders slump.

"I doubt it was a random decision. Anyways, Tenten, wait for me here, okay?" I ask slipping on my flip-flops, "And open the trunk too, I need to find something to cover up with. Especially in this weather. "

Tenten nods and unlocks the doors and trunk. I quickly open the car door and immediately feel the horrible rain splashing around me, and smacking into my face.

I run over to the back end of the car, as Tenten watches me anxiously. I hurriedly open the trunk and search it for some cloth.

I notice a black hoodie, scrunched away from sight in the corner. I reach for it and, when I feel my fingers touch the soft cloth, pull out the cover. I shut the trunk and then pull on the hoodie, hood up.

I give Tenten a slight wave and then make a mad dash for the building.

I reach the door, jerk it open and huddle inside. I stand here for a moment, basking in the warmth and not wetness of the ground floor.

The hoodie felt heavy, water all over it, it must've been Mikazuki's. It was so long on me, almost covering the shorts, and it was form fitting.

Yup, definitely Mikazuki's. I then remember what I'm there for and I rush over to the elevator, squeezing the water out of my hair as I did so. The doors opened and I scuttled in.

When I reach the door to the copy room I can hear the voice of my boss. . . and it was very frantic.

"Where is she?! Didn't she say she was coming?!" I never said that. He hung up on me, after he said he was going to fire me if I didn't come.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. Sasuke about jumps out of his skin, but when I appear from behind it, his posture, immediately switches to relief.

"Oh hey, Sakura," He says taking a breath, I look at him with a curious face, he continues, "I wanted you to come because. . .well, I. . " I listen as he trails off, a light blush crossing over his face.

This is very different. I'm kind of scared, what could the Sasuke Uchiha, have done that would make him embarrassed like this?

Maybe he peed his pants and accidentally got some urine on the copy machine and broke it. . .Heh.

"Why did you call me out here, Uchiha?" I ask crossing my arms, this had either be really good or really funny, 'cause if it isn't I'm going to murder him!

He blushes and looks away from, rubbing his head.

"Well ,you see, I. . .Well, I, I kind of broke the copy machine. . ." I stare at him in disbelief, is he serious?!

He called me 70 miles from home at four, almost five, in the morning so he could tell me that he broke a machine?!

I feel my eye twitch. But before I can explode on him he says,

"I was going to bed last night, and I remembered a paper that I had to get done for a major company. Normally that'd be your job, but I didn't want inconvenience you.

So I finished it and went to copy it but the copy machine busted and its due in five minutes and I tried to get to another copy machine, but the power went out!

So, I couldn't move around or anything, then when it came back on all the copy machines had reset and I don't know how to work them!

I'll get fired or lose a shitload of money if I can't get fifty copies of this!" He explains in a very long run-on paragraph.

Aw.

He didn't want to inconvenience m- Wait.

Isn't that was he's doing now?! I'd rather have been inconvenienced so and so hours ago then right now! When its pouring outside, I glare at him. Then I stuck my hand out.

"Give me the paper." I surprise myself, I can't believe what a nice person I am. He_ so _doesn't deserve my generosity.

He smiles thankfully at me, even though he probably isn't really capable of smiling, I can tell he's trying. I grasp the paper in my hand, making sure not to get it wet with my damp hoodie.

Now to set up the damn copy machine and copy fifty freaking copies of some stupid paper or I would be fired.

I sigh.

Sometimes I wish Sasuke would just leave his sentimentality in his throat where it belongs. Sasuke sat like a wimp, on the white tiled floor, while I began pressing the needed buttons to get the thing working like normal.

A few seconds later and I was copy-ing like there was no tomorrow and for some very odd reason, Sasuke was looking very worried.

Hm, that's strange. I glance at him every now and then, as I wait for the copies to finish. He isn't looking at me, he's watching the 8x11 paper sheets that are being spit out of the machine and onto the slanted slate that lay there collecting the copies.

I raise my eyebrow and face Sasuke, who apparently notices, because he turns his gaze from the copies to me.

"So," I drawl out pushing my black sleeves up my arms to cool off, "What exactly _are _you copying, Sasuke?" I ask leaning against the copy machine.

I smirk when I see beads of sweat begin to form on his brow, his face covered with a nervous look. He gulps.

"Um, nothing. Just some stuff," He replies rubbing the back of his neck and wearing a fake smile. Okay, now I'm suspicious.

"Okay, well. If this is just some _stuff_ then you won't mind me looking at it?" I say slyly crossing my arms.

His eyes widen when I turn around to face the upside down papers, still beginning to file out of machine. He quickly jumps to his feet, making me flinch in surprise.

I blink a couple times as he appears directly in front of me, forehead to forehead.

"I really don't think that'll be necessary, Sakura," He whispers huskily, obsidian eyes boring into my own emerald one-, you know? In these fictions people always refer to our eyes as stones. Ahem! My eyes are not like a boring stone ,thankfully.

Their shiny and full of life, er, I feel like Lee, oh well, all I know is that they won't be boring like a rock until I'm at least sixty. Though it could be much earlier, I _am_ related to Sasori and Mikazuki.

Anyway! Back onto the original plot.

Is he trying to seduce me into forgetting about the papers?

Hah! He must've forgotten who he's dealing with, I am Sakura Haruno! The almighty!

Ahem, sorry.

I raise my eyebrow again and push back my forehead against his. He cringes slightly but smirks.

"No, I would very much like to see what my beloved boss is up to, after all it did, or so you say, almost get me fired," I reply snidely grabbing Sasuke's tie and pulling it, making it loosen.

His brow creases with worry and he gulps again.

"Uh, seriously, Sakura. You really, don't want to see those," He stutters slightly but his voice is still low and his forehead is still pressed against mine in a very intimate act.

I fight down a blush and and glare at him with defiant eyes. He just tries to smirk pleasantly while wrapping his arms around my waist, most likely to prevent me from getting a look at the sheets of paper.

"I think I do!" I demand breaking contact with him and twirling around in his arms to grab one of the papers.

Before glancing at the paper, I jerk out of his grasp and hurry to the other side of the room. Sasuke stood there for a moment, just staring at the empty space in his arms.

Then, OMG never expected this to happen, realization flits across his handsome face.

Duh.

He immediately spins around and glares at the paper in my hand, reminding me of the said object. I smirk evilly as I flatten out the crumbled piece of paper, from being clutched in my hand, Sasuke watches me, desperation evident in his wide onyx eyes.

I then look over the paper with a steady face.

Seconds passed.

"WHAT THE HELL?! SASUKE UCHIHA! I'M GONNA SLAUGHTER YOU!!"

XXXXXXXX

Heh. Yays, and I know this one is much much much shorter then the first. But I definitely will make the next one twice as long as this one. I swear!

I just thought this was a really good stopping place, y'know the cliff hanger dealio.

Anywho's I hope you've enjoyed this very peppy chapter! So if you have then well, PLEASE Review, please.

Because you never really understand how an author feels when they receive a happy and satisfied review until you are one and you get one.

SO ending on a questioning note.

If your a girl and your an author, does that make you an authoress?

Also this was a question I got on an IQ test, but never got the answer, it was:

'If some of the pens are blue, and some of the pens are in the drawer, then does that mean that some of the pens in the drawer are blue?'

How's that for a brain teaser?

Anyway, Review!,

red-flower


	3. The paper and meeting a gang!

Yays!

Thankyou for the totally awesome reviews! So here's my super special awesome thanks!

Millions of thanks to:

EliteFang, -DeAd AppL3-, disconnected15, cherrysaki-chan, Shika-kun'skeba771, Kimyuri-chan, candyluver, MyAngelsHalo, Strawberry lulz

Thank you! Again. I worship the ground y'all walk on!! Anywayz. . .

Thanks to those of you who answered my annoying yet seemingly innocent questions. See because i give them a face like this: -- and they give me a face like this: . Obviously they are plotting something.

Also's Just so you know how much I love you, I'm starting this at five in the morning. Yay for no sleep!

and now for. . .

huff fine the stupid evil disclaimer, which I hate admitting so much I'm not going to say it!.

. . . . . . .now most of you are thinking, 'You have to!'

soooo. . .I hired a trained professional! )

**Sakura: **uh, yeah. I'm not a trained professional. And you didn't hire me, I'm not getting paid.

**red-flower: **oh. . . well, never mind that! On with the disclaiming!

**Sakura: **riiiight. . .yeah, red-flower doesn't own Naruto. Thank God.

**red-flower: **What was that? Did I hear a 'Thank God.'?

**Sakura: **No. I said 'Sank Cod.'

**red-flower: **oh. . . Okay!

**Sakura: ** sweatdrop It's one idiotic thing after another, isn't it?

**red-flower: **Yes, but you still love me!

**Sakura: **Yeah. About that. . .

Nows! On with the story!!

XXXXXXX

_A flashback, just for you:_

I then look over the paper with a steady face.

Seconds passed.

"WHAT THE HELL?! SASUKE UCHIHA! I'M GONNA SLAUGHTER YOU!!"

XXXXXXX

**'SAKURA IS MINE!**

_So keep your mangy hands of off her, you asstards!'_

And that was only the heading to the stupid piece of paper, Sasuke had just recently forced me into printing.

Now. That wouldn't be such a big deal, if _that _wasn't what was keeping me from making any work friends. And if _that _wasn't what I was copying at five in the freaking morning, because some stupid asshole of a boss lied right to my face, while giving me the pouty look.

Does that seem right in the least?

Didn't think so.

So here I am standing over my boss, he has a purple bruise on his left cheek, mind you. He's pouting at me from his pathetic position on the tile floor. Seriously. It's pretty retarded.

"What the hell, ever possessed you to make this piece of shitty nonsense?" I growl, crumbling the paper into my clenching fist. Sasuke crosses his arms nonchalantly. Oh, is he going to get it. Cocky bastard.

"It's not nonsense, it's true. Mine as well inform the visitors before they get any disgusting idea's about _my _secretary." Oho, am I gong to k- Wait. Did he say 'visitors'? Now that peaks my interest, and diverts my animosity.

"Visitors?" I ask, morbidly curious. He smirks at me. Most likely happy he managed to falter my murdering intent, if only for a couple seconds. Hey, a couple seconds lived could save his sorry ass. But thats on the extremely off chance, what he's talking about is even mildly interesting.

"Oh? I guess no one told you," Most likely because you keep all my possibly informative co-workers away from me. "Well, tomorrow, we are having four major company owners over for a conference. Oh and they're staying on our offices for a week or two."

Oh fantastic. "So, are the business owners like you, like in age?" I ask, praying he'd say no. I am probably one of the few young women who'd rather hang around and tend to a whole bunch of old farts than a couple of young arrogant asses. But sadly God was too busy telling some poor innocent reviewer that he hates her. Poor reviewer.

"Actually, unfortunately, they are. Horrible. Oh yeah. Yesterday, were your friends asking for jobs here?" Sasuke recalls, still laying under me, looking ridiculous, with the smug smirk on his handsome face, a bruise on his cheek and him laying uncomfortably, I'm sure, underneath my legs. Oh yeah, he looks completely mature. But I jump at the opportunity of getting my pathetic friends jobs.

"Yeah. What about it?" I snap, guardedly. I don't know what he wants, so I regard him with the utmost tenacity. His face, er,_ he_ seems pleased. His eyes thoughtful.

"Well, all of the guy's coming are in dire need of a young cute secretary," I raise my eyebrow at the word 'cute'. He smirks again. "There all the rage. Everybody, who's rich enough, has one. And every one, who isn't, wants one. That's why I have you."

Okay, this guy was treading in dangerous waters. I'm going to break his pretty little neck. Then we'll see who's 'all the rage' "I'll be sure to tell them." I spit, growling at him. He just slides out from between my legs and stands up, dusting off his white shirt. He looks at me.

I glare.

He smirks.

A phone rings

He- wait go back! Is it my phone?!

I concentrate to see if my stomach is vibrating. Yup, definitely a free massage down there. I reach into my hoodie pocket and pull put the razor.

"Hello? This is the very frustrated elf speaking." Sasuke chuckles at me for some unknown reason. What? I always answer my phone like this. Usually. Kind of. Not really. Okay, never! There you happy?!

"Hello, very frustrated elf, this is very bored bun-head. May I speak with Sakura?" Tenten's voice came from the other line. Oh crap! I'd almost forgot about her. . .

. . .Okay, I did forget about her. Jeez, details schmeatails.

"Hehe. You said bun-head. Reminds me of a certain boss." I stress the last sentence, so I know Sasuke hears it. He just smirks at me with that stupid all knowing smirk, that I hate with a passion.

"Ooh. Are you talking of Sasuke?" Tenten asks I can practically tell she's smiling.

"Yes. And speaking of said Sasuke, I'm about to tear him limb from excruciating limb!" I say, malice lacing my every word. Tenten gasps, dramatically.

"No! What would Karin say?!" Tenten exclaimed, Most likely naming the first relative to come to mind. I thought about that putting my finger to my lip. Her face appears in my mind, 'Sakuraaaaaa! Hurry, now, rape him!'

Tenten pauses.

"Okay, if she wasn't a complete douche bag."

I laugh. Sasuke watches me intently, while picking up the copies of his stupid 'Mine!' papers. Keh. possessive ass. But Tenten had put me in a good mood, so I'll let it slide. Just this once.

"Hey, Sasuke?" I call, still holding my phone to my ear. He looks over at me, curiously. "I'll take you up on the job offers, they could really use them. And," I walk over to him and leaned towards his ear.

"This isn't over yet. Sa-su-ke," I hiss, smirking evilly, as I gesture to his bruise. He smirks at me.

"I know."

XXXXXXXX

I now sat in the front seat of my car, kindly letting Tenten drive me home. The rain hadn't let up, but it was brighter outside. If only by a little.

"Oh yeah! Hey, Tenten, still looking for a job as cool as mine?" I ask, excitement evident in my voice. She turns to glance at me.

"Totally. Why?" She asks cautiously. Suspicious of my creepy mood swing. I blame it all on ADD. Which I am positively sure I- Oh, look a kitty! Oh. Never mind, it's only _part _of a kitty. Sniffles. Why did he have to get hit by a car! Wh- Hey look! A Tree! And it's not dead! Why is Tenten staring at me? Oh. Oh yeah!

"Because, Sasuke told me he knew a few young business men looking for secretaries!" I purposefully left out the 'cute' thing. I knew Tenten was a tomboy at heart. So calling her cute really didn't appeal to her, she was more of a 'Cool' kind of person. Tenten's whole face broke into a smile.

"Really?" She asked hoping that her best friend wasn't playing some kind of cruel sick joke that would get her hopes up so that they could be crushed back down into a million, tiny sorrow filled pieces. How could Tenten think I would do that? Stop looking at me like that. I know what your thinking, and I am not a horrible best friend! Just a misunderstood sharpie addict.

"Yes, really! Gosh you silly person!" I exclaim, sarcastically with my retarded voice. Basically its where you stick your tongue between your teeth when you talk. And you sound really dumb. Tenten suppresses a laugh. Holding her hand to her mouth.

"Hey Sak, you _did _say a 'few' right?" She asks, hinting something that I really didn't get.

"Of course."

"Annnndddd. . ." She says with that hidden between the lines voice.

"And?" I say, trying to imply I didn't get what weird message she was trying to subliminally shoot my way. She sighed.

"Ino." She says simply turning back to the road. I frown.

"What about h- oh." Realization hit me like a tidal wave. No, more like a tsunami. Wait, are those the same? Agh! Who cares! Basically, I figured out what Tenten was telling me, in between the lines. She was asking if Ino could get a job too. Why didn't she say that in the first place?

"Of course she can! Hell, maybe Temari cane too! Even Hinata, if she wanted to!" I smiled, holding my fist up. Tenten cheers happily.

"Yay! Finally a real job!!" She exclaims, as she pulls the car into my driveway. I take the keys out of the ignition, and hop out the car. Tenten follows suit, smiling all the way. I pull off the hoodie as the outside heat seeps into it.

"Ah! Now I can breathe!" I tie the hoodie around my waist, while sticking my keys into its pocket along with my faithful phone. As soon as the words left my lips, a duo of adults practically jumps me.

"My baby! Why did you leave with out saying good bye?" Mikazuki's voice sounds in my left ear.

"I _thought _I told you not to call her that!" Sasori's voice rings in my right. I cringe as they begin a fight over my damned nickname next to my ears. I glance over and see Ino smiling apologetically at me, before Tenten walks over to her and tells her something animatedly. And then Ino gets just as ditzy as a true blond really should be. Screaming and what not. Oh my God, I just sounded like a cranky old man, I mean who says what not anymore?!

"Sakura? Sakura are you okay?" Sasori's concerned face is looking over me, Mikazuki over his shoulder. Oh. I hadn't realized I dazed out. Oops.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." I smile tiredly, just now realizing I only got two hours of sleep. Guess the anxiety has finally wore off. Wait.

I can feel a little to much skin, being touched. Oh yeah. I'm wearing those clothes Karin gave me. Oh. Hm. . . . Shit!

"Sakura, what are you wearing?" Mikazuki asks squinting her eyes at me, studying my friends evil choice of clothing. Sasori looks me over as well. Well, I've been found. Darn.

"Are those the clothes Karin-bitch got you?" Mikazuki asks glaring at my attire.

"Woah. They show a lot." Sasori says skeptically. Realization flits across Mikazuki's face.

"Agh! Don't touch her Sasori-nii! You pervert!" Mikazuki quickly snatches me out of Sasori's arms. Sasori glares at her.

"You little freak, I'm her older brother!" Sasori yells, pulling me back against his bare chest. Well, this is a crappy turn of events. I see in my peripheral vision that Ino's snickering at my horrible predicament. To hell with best friend! I'm going to rip her throat out and shove it down Sasuke's! Killing two bird's with one stone, my face turns evil as I get grabbed back and forth. More shaking baby syndrome. Oh joy.

"Okay stop it! I'm going to go change, so quit being so touchy feely!" I command ripping myself out of Mikazuki's hands. Both their faces look sorrowful as I march into the house, taking note that Karin's car still wasn't back yet, even though her shift ended at four AM. It's like almost six thirty. Oh well, who's complaining?

"Wait for us!" Ino and Tenten come following behind me with my two siblings sauntering not far behind. Jeez, they are such drama. .. er king and queens. They aggravate me. I only yelled at them. Their making me feel bad. Gah! Screw it!

"I forgive you two." I mumble skipping over to them and encircling my arms around the both of them. They brighten up immediately, hugging me back. I'm starting to think they planned this. But I don't think they can work together that easily.

"Only this once, anyway, I have to go change now." I release them and scurry into the house and up the stairs to my room. Ino and Tenten running after me.

I push the door open and open my drawers in search of a little more decent clothing. I find a pair of baggy pajama bottoms, dark blue, and a baby blue tight t-shirt. "This'll work," I mumble mostly to myself. I begin to change as Ino shuts my door.

"So what's this Tenten tells me about a new completely awesome pair of jobs for yours truly, and possibly others truly?" Ino asks excitedly, jumping onto my queen sized water bed. Covered in maroon, red and pink. I feel my face lighting up in anticipation, if they get the jobs, then we'll be co-workers for a week!

"Sasuke says, that a few visiting business men are coming down to the Uchiha corps. for a week. Conference. And they're looking for young secretaries. We'd be co-workers! You'll probably get the jobs too, because we're the first to know about the offers!" I say happily pulling the shirt all the way down and throwing my _icky _clothing into my closet. The deepest darkest corner of my closet, where Giddy can rape it. And hopefully eat it.

"I love your boss!" Ino yells putting her hands to her heart. I scowl.

"Then you can have him, 'cause I don't!" I snap, grumpily crossing my arms. Yeah, I know I can be childish, deal with it. Tenten and Ino giggle to themselves.

"What are you two laughing at?" I growl, looking at them dangerously. Their evil grins grow bigger. That's one thing I hate about best friends, they're unaffected by scary death glares. Why?! How dare they be impervious!

"Hey Ino?" Tenten says still grinning, as she turns her look to Ino. Ino snickers.

"Why, yes Tenten?" Oh now they're screwing with me!

"Me thinks, someone might-eth have a teeny crush-eth on thy Sasuke!" And with that Tenten and Ino burst into a fit of laughter. Oh, I'm about to go on a killing spree! But before I can jump my idiotic friends I hear a few rings of the doorbell and a couple knocks on our front door. I pause, ears twitching to hear better. I hear Sasori yell, 'I'll get it!' Then a whole bunch of footsteps and greetings. Hm. Who could that possibly be. Sasori doesn't have any friends. . .except for that gang-

"Oh my God! I wanna meet them!" I scream, spinning on my heel and dashing down the hall and then the stairs. "Where are they Sasori! Let me talk to them!"

Now most of you are probably wondering why I'm so eager to see these guys. Or not. But lets pretend you are, if you aren't, okay? Now, it's because these guys kill people and stuff they've held guns and stole money! They're so cool. My idols from high school! I stop at the bottom of the stairs to see eight men staring at me, with curious eyes. Sasori stood there for a moment before running over to me.

"Baby, don't be scared. I promise they won't hurt you okay?" He assures me. Keh. As if I need it. He must have mistook my shocked silence for fear. I always knew he was an idiot at heart.

"What are you talking about?! They're completely totally and utterly awesome!!" I scream running over to examine every one of them. They all seem surprised with my answer. What? I think that that was a completely normal answer for a twenty three year old woman, who just had a run in with a gang/mafia. Yeah, I just now thought that over again and I should probably see a therapist. Eh, oh well.

I first walked in front of one of them, he had bluish skin and scary looking teeth. What a freak. Oh well, my mommy always said treat everyone equally. "Hiya scary freaky weird fish man! My name is Haruno Sakura! I'm Sasori's baby sister!"

"How old are you, half-pint?" He glares at me, oh this bastard is messing with the wrong half-pint!

"I am twenty three! FYI!" I growl, fists clenching. He smirks cockily at me.

"What are you going to do? Attack me? Pip-squeak." He says sarcastically, ooh he's tempting me! But I won't do what he wants!

"Nope. My mom taught me to treat every one equally, even the freaks." I say defiantly, crossing my arms. I hear a few chuckles go around the room. The other members are laughing at him! Mwahaha! They're on my side! The blue guy's face contorts with anger.

"Why I oughtta-"

"Control yourself, Kisame."

I turn in surprise at the knew voice. A man is sitting in an arm chair, a black tight t-shirt and baggy denim jeans adorned his lean figure. His long black hair is tied at the nape of his neck. His eyes were red and his fa- Oh my God! He looks just like Sasuke!

"OMG! It's Sasuke's incarnate!" I scream, pointing an accusing finger in the man's direction. His eyes widen in surprise at my finger in his face. He raises his eyes to meet mine.

"You know Sasuke?" He asks in a deep, rich voice. I stare at him in astonishment.

"Uh, yeah. He's uh, he's my boss. Why, do you?" I ask, I hadn't intended to make an outburst like that. So I haven't quite thought up an intelligent reply.

"He's my younger brother,"

My eyes went wide and my pupils shrunk. Or at least I hope they did, that always happens in animes it looks so cool! Anyway, back to the point.

"Good. Can you tell him I hate him, a lot?" I ask sweetly, clasping my hands together in front of me. He smirks at me.

"Sure, no problem. . .Haruno?" He asks, I nod my head and stick out my left hand.

"Nice to meet you, call me Sakura!" I exclaim, shooting a glare in fish stick's direction. He just sticks his tongue out at me. I stick mine out too.

"Likewise, call me Itachi." Itachi shakes my hand and I smile cheerfully, before pulling away.

"Sorry, Sasori. I know you said not to talk to them. . .but I couldn't help it, they're so cool! Well, most of them. . ." I give a side long glance at Kisame. He growls at me. Heh, didn't know fishes could growl.

"No problem, baby. Just don't do that again, you scared the shit out of me," Sasori assured me, walking over and putting his arm around my shoulders. I elbowed him in the gut. He grunted, I was satisfied.

"Introduce me to them!" I demanded, Sasori smiled a painful smile. Oops, must have hit him a little to hard. Heh. . .I swear it was on accident. You know nothing! You have no proof!

I let Sasori lead me over too, a pair of men sitting on our couch. One of them had platinum blond hair, slicked back and creepy purple eyes. And a guy with like a mask hood thingy, thing. Yeah. He's almost as freaky as fish stic- I mean Kisame.

"These are Hidan and Kakuzu," Sasori introduced. I smiled an excited smile and stuck my hand out in between both of them. Not sure which one to choose first. The blond one, Hidan, smirked at me and took my hand. "Haruno Sakura, but I think you already know that," He just shakes my hand.

"Yeah! It was pretty fucking funny watching you piss off Kisame like that!" He laughs. Jeez, what a _fucking _potty mouth. I smile wryly and release his hand. I turn my hand to he other more weirder guy. He just stares at it, like its a freakin' naked mole rat or something.

I glare at him, before retracting my hand. Why are all the freaks so rude? Gosh. Sasori then directs me towards Deidara and a green haired guy, he also had one black side and one white side. Heh, he looks like a Oreo! Deidara smiles at me from is position on our other arm chair. Oreo is leaning against the wall, next to Deidara.

"Hiya! Sakura-chan, long time no see!" Deidara exclaims, engulfing me in a one arm hug. Sasori narrows his eyes at him, until her releases me. He then gestures towards mister Oreo.

"That's Zetsu," Sasori introduces. I put my hand up to him, hopefully he won't stare at it like a rodent, like some body!

"Nice to meet you! Call me Sakura!" I introduce myself again. He looks at my hand for a minute. When I'm about to pull my hand back he quickly reaches forward and shakes it once.

"It's nice to meet you too." He states simply, taking his hand back and sticking it into his pocket. I raise my eyebrow. Eh, it's better than nothing. Anyways, there was one more left to say hi to and th-

"Nice to meet you, Sakura-chan!" I feel something black barrel into me, and I topple over and out of my brother's grasp. A guy is on top of me and his arms are wound tightly around my stomach. Um, I don't know if I should slap this guy, or let him go with what he's doing and just wait until Sasori pries him off. I decided on the latter, don't want to got to work on Monday with a hole through my head. Though I don't think I'd be alive till then. Hm, well that's something to dwell on.

"Tobi! You asshole, get off of Sakura-chan! I don't think she can breathe!" I hear Deidara's voice from behind the so called 'Tobi'.

"Oh! Whoops. Sorry, Sakura-chan!" The Tobi guy apologizes jumping to his feet and pulling me up with him. I look over to see a quietly seething Sasori, and I snicker. . .not the candy. Though I really want a snickers bar right now. Meh, oh well.

"I'm Tobi! Sakura-chan!" Tobi exclaims like a child, sticking his hand out to me. Man, how can he act like such a kid, he's, like, four inches taller than my brother! Weirdo. And what's with the blindingly bright mask, I think I'm getting a seizure.

"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you, er, Tobi," I say awkwardly, not bothering to stick out my hand. After all why shake hands with a guy who just practically invaded my personal bubble, _without_ my permission. He laughs and Sasori and Deidara knock him on the head.

"Sakura! Where the hell did yo-" I look up at the top of the stairs to see my two best friends, looking at the living room full of gang members, in awe. I smile at them.

"Hi, guys! Where ya been?" I ask lightly, waving my hand in the air. Tenten and Ino rush down the stairs, Tenten scurries over to me and Ino examines every one like I did. But I have a hunch its for a very different reason than me.

"Uh-oh," I hear Tenten say, I look at her curiously and she points at Ino. I turn my gaze to Ino and see her watching, er, staring at Itachi hawkishly. Well, at least Sasori won't have to worry anymore. Poor, poor Itachi. I wonder what he-

"INO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

XXXXXXX

Okay, that's it for the time being!

Thanks for reading all the way through and yes Zetsu no longer has the Venus fly trap. This is an AU story after all. A dude walking around with a plant on his head, would draw some attention.

Anywayz, Review. Please!

red-flower


	4. Smart when Sleepy?

And here it is!

Thank you for your kind and wonderful reviews of awesomeness. Here is my super special awesome thanks.

Thanks!:

Shika-kun'sKeba771, candyluver, x0kiss., kaYeYe, disconnected15, cherrysaki-chan, Strawberry Lulz, oni-hime-san

Yeah. I say thanks a lot. It's starting to lose its meaning. Meh, oh well.

Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying your school free summer. Cause, I'm not. I am so bored. Nothing to do. Blegh. But that's good for you, that means I'll have a whole lot of free time, which means more time to type, which means faster updates on all my stories.

Yay.

Also, this chapter is, luckily, not being started in the dead of early morning-ness. It's eleven AM. Mind you, I'm only awake this early, if you can call it early, because I stayed up all night, watching Death Note. So yeah. I'm starting to get purple-ness under my eyes. I look funny.

Anyway.

Now for the thing every FF author hates most. At least I do.

My disclaimer!

I, red-flower11, officially announce that I do not, I repeat, NOT own Naruto.

Heh, I _can _do it. I just choose not to.

For good measure. My sister typed it for me. . .but that's besides the point!

XXXXXX

_No flashback. Just a nice scream._

"INO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

XXXXXXX

No, I am not trying to pull a deranged fangirl off of a poor innocent, okay not innocent, but nice guy.

Okay, maybe I am. But still.

Now you're probably wondering what happened. Or not. But whatever.

You see. Ino was staring at Itachi and drooling her head off, and then, while I was talking to myself, or rather you all, she jumped him. And I do mean that quite literally. She _jumped _him.

"Ino! Let. . .go!" I grab her by the waist and jerk violently. Tenten is grabbing her head.

"But he is so hot!" Ino whines clutching onto his stomach. Itachi scowls at her, trying and failing to pry her arms off of him. Why must Ino do this! She did the exact same thing nine years ago when she met Sasori. Now, Itachi's probably going to hate her. Another hot guy joins the ranks. Ino's never going to get a boyfriend if she doesn't stop doing this.

Sasuke's lucky, I saved him from the evil wrath of Ino and her hugginess. "INO!"

Tenten yells. I growl in frustration, and look to Tenten. "On the count of three! 1. . .2. . .3!"

We both kick backwards with all our strength, and to my pleasure Ino comes falling to the floor with us. And to my un-pleasure, she falls on us and I have wood flooring. Oh the aching pain! I feel someone gripping my forearm and pulling me out from the, underneath of Ino. I rub my tail bone and grimace, as Tenten and Ino hop to there feet.

"Owwie! Why'd you guys do that?!" Ino screeches at us, crossing her arms indignantly. I sigh and smooth out my rumpled clothes.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you were raping a stranger!" I growl smacking the back of her head. She mumbles something incoherent, but says nothing else. Tenten nods along with me.

"Sorry, Itachi! Ino's a little idiotic when it comes to hot guys!" I apologize, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. Itachi sighs and fixes his shirt.

"A little?" He says standing up. Sasori, who by the way was the one who helped me up, glares at Ino and she pouts walking over to the stairs.

"I'll be in your room if you need me." And she stalks up the staircase. I sigh. Don't her and Tenten have a home? They're always hanging around my house, I mean really? Don't there room mate's miss them?

. . .Okay, I can kinda understand why Ino's always here, but Tenten? She's pretty humane. Shouldn't Hinata miss her. . .then again.

"Sakura, baby?" I look up and Sasori's looking at me concernedly. He's probably been calling my name a good minute or so.

"Yes?" I ask, taking note that everyone's staring at me and Tenten had left to comfort the little insane Ino. Traitor. Leave me alone with the awkward gang members why don't cha? See if I ever buy her another Chinese weapon ever again!

"Well. Could you go now? We have to have a private Akatsuki meeting and I'm not allowed to have other people around." He states with a sad look. Aw, he's so cute.

. . .In a weird, demented, sibling kinda way.

"Sure, sure! I'll hang with my friends and Mika," I say airily, tossing my hair over my shoulder. Okay, yeah. I am kind of mad. I want to watch the damn meeting, is that so wrong? And since I can't, do to things beyond my brother's control. I'll just make him jealous. Cause I'm evil!

"O-okay, baby. Ha-have fun." Sasori says hugging me and grumbling quietly to himself. I hug him back and pat his head. Poor guy, He's struggling to let me go. And hang out with my sister. Someone that he loathes. Mwahaha!

I flash him a happy smile and dash up the stairs, waving at Itachi as I go by. He smirks slightly, ugh. Maybe its an Uchiha thing. When I arrived at my room, Ino, Tenten and Mikazuki are sitting on the floor playing cards. Seriously. Cards?

"Hey, guys," I sigh, sitting in between Ino and Mikazuki. Mikazuki grins at me and wraps her arm around my shoulders.

"Guess what we're playing," She says, placing a pair of cards down on the stack in the middle. I frown. I don't know! I haven't played cards since. . .well, since I was introduced to the wonders of the internet. Wow, this generation, is seriously screwed.

"I dunno, uh, 'Go Fish'?" I guess, grumpily. That's the only game I remember. Though I'm pretty sure, in go fish, you don't say 'Uno'! However, I could be wrong. . .

"What the heck? We're playing Uno, you idiot," Tenten says looking at me like I'm, well, an idiot. Which I can prove wrong. . . .Okay maybe I can't, but if I could, that's what I'd say!

"Well, _fine_. Gosh, I'm going to sleep, you ungrateful, bunch of meanie pants!" I say, sticking my tongue out. Yeah, its immature. . .nobody say anything. I hop to my feet and collapse onto my bed.

"'Kay! Goodnight, baby!" Mikazuki says, following up with, "Uno!" I sigh and with a 'sloshing' of my bed, crawl under my bright red comforter.

Snuggling into my sheets and blocking out the yells and cries, from the people on my bedroom floor, I drift into a weird, dream corrupted sleep.

In my Dream:

I am being chased. I don't know what by, so don't ask. I only know that for some reason, I'm scared shit-less and I'm on a beach.

As I run, I hear a voice come from behind me, from the person that's in my pursuit. It's painfully familiar. Oh, great. _He _just had to be in _my _dream, what an ass. I guess ruining my life isn't enough for him, he's also got to screw around with my sub-conscious. Well, screw you, Sasuke! Screw you!

"Aw, Sakura! Why are you running?" He says, or rather whines. He doesn't even sound the slightest bit breathless. While, I, on the other hand, am dying of exhaustion. I gasp as my foot gets caught on a half buried shell and I'm sent flying towards the sand. immediately, Sasuke's arms reach out to catch me and I feel myself blush, for no reason.

What the hell?! Can this dream get any more corny? And wasn't this a nightmare two seconds ago?

"Sakura? I love you," Sasuke says leaning forward, his lips inches away from my own.

Aw, shit. He's gonna kiss me. No wonder I was running earlier.

His eyes clothes and his lips collide with mine. I feel my face get hot but I kiss him back.

End dream.

I immediately, jerk upright in my bed. Mikazuki and Tenten are playing on my X-box 360, yeah I got one! Woot! Anyway.

Ino turns to look at me. "What's wrong with you?" She asks in an uncaring way. Some friend.

"That was the scariest nightmare I have ever had," I say, wiping the sweat off of my brow. Tenten pauses the game and turns to look also.

"What was it about?" She asks, Mikazuki turns too, concerned. I sigh, and rub my forehead.

"Nothing in particular," I mumble and they just shrug, turning back to my game. Which by the way, is Guitar Hero 3. The awesome-ist game in the world, sorta. I turn my gaze to rest on the digital clock, next to my bed. It was eight PM. Oh fantastic, just delightful, positively idyllic. I slept through the entire day. I mean, how the hell did that happen?! My dream was barely a minute long! That doesn't even make any sense!

God, I need an aspirin.

Word to the wise, or rather, stupid. Don't think really hard, right after you've just woken up.

I hop off my bed, wobbling slightly, my vision blurring. I rub my eyes and steady myself, as I step toward my door. But before I can open it, it opens for me. And also hits me, again. I officially hate doors now.

I feel myself begin to fall, but make no movement to stop myself, I'm too tired to care. I yawn, when I feel arms wrap around me, and halt my collision with the ground. Thinking it was Sasori I growl half-heartedly.

"You really like hitting me with doors, don't you?" I say, yawning again. Like I said before, I hate yawning. And I think if you talk about yawning enough, you eventually do yawn. Unfortunately. I yawn again. Have you ever noticed I'm more mature when I'm sleep ridden? Just a fact.

"Sorry, but I don't think I've known you long enough, to have hit you with a door enough, to like doing it."

I think for a moment. Hm. That doesn't sound like Sasori. Who's voice is this? I ponder this, while the person waits patiently, holding me up. I should probably thank him for that.

"Uh, thanks for, catching me," I mumble quietly, but I think he can hear me. It is now that I decide to open my tired eyes, and it is also now, that I realize that the man holding me is Itachi. Huh. Go figure. I disentangle myself and scratch my head.

"What are you doing up here, anyway?" I ask, with another yawn. He smiles at me and pats my head, like I'm a child. Which I would have complained about, but I'm tired. So who cares.

"Did you just wake up?" He asks, fixing my hair for me, I yawn irritably. Of course. Isn't it obvious? Do I look wide awake to you, mister Uchiha?

"Yeah." I murmur, stretching my arms up, like a cat. He chuckles. Finally smoothing down my hair.

"I came up here to get one of your friends, their room mate says they need to get home, its an emergency," He says lightly, peering over my head. He clears his throat to gain attention. I assume the girls looked, because he started talking.

"Tenten? Your room mate called for you, its an emergency."

Tenten immediately dropped the guitar and waved bye to all of us, before pushing passed me and Itachi to get out the door. I mumble an incoherent bye, even thought I'm absolutely sure, Tenten can't hear me.

Wait. Why the heck am I up, again? Oh yeah, aspirin. I side stepped Itachi and made a beeline for the downstairs. I could hear him following behind me. One word: Stalker. I smile to myself as I descend the stairs.

I notice the Akatsuki is no longer in the living room, that or no longer in the the house. Hopefully, the latter. I can't deal with crazies when I have a headache. If I do have too though, it will involve pain, shrill, earsplitting pain. I hear myself growl slightly and I make my way to the kitchen, where the medicine cabinet is located.

As I step into the kitchen I see Sasori, Tobi and Deidara. They are talking and holding bottles of beer in their hands. I sigh. Idiots, they're gonna get drunk, and then who's gonna have to take care of the losers? Yeah. Me, dammit! Sasori smiles at me when I step beside him to reach the cabinet, his cheeks are flushed. Ayep, he's drunk, how many of the things did he have?!

"Hiya, baby! What 'cha doin'?" He slurs, smiling a cute doofus smile. I grumble. Stupid Sasori.

"Getting aspirin for a headache." I get uneasy when he swings his arm around and jerks me towards him. Deidara grinned at me, his one visible eye crinkling.

"Aw, Sakura! Ya have a headache? Want me ta make it feel better?" H leans toward me, his breath reeking of the scent of alcohol. I flinch away from him, disgusting. Ugh. They're starting to get on my nerves.

"No. Aspirin's fine." I rip myself out of my brother's grip and reach into the cabinet to get the bottle. Sasori leans his head on my shoulder, as I open the top and pour two pills into my hand. I can smell Sasori's breath, and I shrug him off. He starts whining at me. Literally. Whining. What has the world come to?!

"Baby, don't 'cha love me?" He asks wrapping his arms around my shoulders and smiling at me from under my hair. I grit my teeth before gulping the pills down. If he doesn't let go, well, its his funeral.

"Sasori, let me go." I say, teeth clenching. He smirks at me.

"No." Deidara and Tobi laugh from behind me. I roll my eyes.

"Sasori. . .don't make me do this," I try to reason with him. I really don't want to hurt my brother, but. . . I mean, really. Who wouldn't punch the living day lights out of him right now?

"Nope, to bad baby." They snicker at each other and I sigh. Oh well. "Besides, what can you do? Your my baby sister."

_What? _What the hell did he just say? Ooh. Fuck, him being my brother. Fuck, him being drunk. I'm gonna kill him. I snarl and spin around, cocking my fist in the air. Here goes, I think maliciously, licking my lips. I thrust my fist forward with all my strength. I grunt as it collides with his cheek, and I feel my knuckles make contact with the bone. He yells in pain as he falls to the wood kitchen floor. I stand there, panting, but smirking none the less.

"What was that?" I stand up straight and rubbed my hand. I hear someone from the entryway of the kitchen. Itachi stood there gaping. I smirk at him. He turns from Sasori to me and collects himself.

"That's one helluva right hook." He walks over to Sasori and helps him to his feet. Sasori looks oddly sober as he rubbed his purple cheek. He looks at me with puppy eyes and I sigh.

"Yeah. Itachi? Can you take Deidara and Tobi, home please?" I ask irritably as I grab Sasori's hand. Itachi nods and waves to me as he grabs the drunken gang members. I wave back and lead Sasori out of the kitchen. He follows obediently, like a lost puppy. Aw, he's so cute when I beat him up. I smile.

In case your wondering. Yes, this has happened before. On many boring and alcohol induced escapades. Sasori had told me specifically, if he did anything weird to me or anyone, then to sock him. So I do. And secretly enjoy it. But you didn't hear it from me!

After I successfully dispose of- No I did not kill him!- Sasori in his room, I head to my own.

"Yeah, huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Shut-up!"

"No!"

I scratch my head, irritatedly. I had stepped in to find Ino and Mikazuki pulling at each other's hair. What are they fighting about? I have no clue, and frankly I don't give a shit. I just wanna go right back to sleep, hopefully a dream less sleep. Hopefully.

Ino and Mikazuki turn and watch me as I ignore them. I stumble over to my bed and curl up in my sea of comforting covers. I hear them whisper a bit, before they tip toe out and flick my light switch. I sigh contentedly. As I snuggle deeper. Life was good. Well, when my boss, my friends and my family wasn't around. I giggle slightly to myself and drift into a light slumber.

XXXXX

_'Thump'_

My eyes open slowly. What the hell was that? I rub my eyes and glance around my room, in a lazy manner. Turning to the clock, I notice that it's four in the damn morning. Oh, well, Whatever the hell made that noise is gone now. I lay my head back on my pillow and close my eyes, tiredly.

'_Thump'_

Agh! Grr, I'm gonna murder something! I jerk upright in my bed and murderously glare around the room. Nothing, except my window's open. You know, the big one. I sigh, and jump off my bed to close it. Stupid window and your ability to open by yourse- Wait. My window doesn't have the ability to open my itself. . . I swirl around and scan over my room.

A small movement by my bed catches my eye. "Who's there!?" I yell out, venomously. Well, at least I'll have something to kill. I glare at the figure laying on my bed.

"Why Saki, I'm disheartened, I can't believe you forgot what your own friend looks like,"

I scowl. Oh, I didn't forget. How the hell could I forget this guy. Don't get me wrong, he's a good friend. He's just a pervert, who happens to be in my room at four and calls me 'Saki'?! I mean really! That isn't even in my name! What kind of nickname is that?! Grr. I'm angry. Can you tell?

"How the heck did you get in my room? I'm on the second floor," I ask, crossing my arms and pointing at my window. He smiles, I think, and stretches on my bed. Ew. He's contaminating it with his icky old guy germs! Okay, yeah, he's not really that old, but still. Older than my brother. That makes him old! Mwahaha!

"I have my ways, young padiwan," He says, in a creepy, I'm mysterious, learn my mysterious ways, cricket, look. God, I hate that look. I shut my window, before climbing onto my bed and shoving him off. He lands on the floor with a thud, and I am satisfied, sorta, now all he has to do is leave and I'll be a happy woman!

"Shut up, Kakashi," I mumble crawling back under my covers. Yup, you heard me right. Kakashi. Kakashi Hatake. He was my tutor, when I was in middle school and my teacher for three years, when I was in high school.

So yeah. We are kinda friends. But mostly just because we've known each other for so long, he came over to my house a lot for tutoring, so he's also friends with my brother. Unfortunately, he had to go to some other country for something.

Yes, I know its vague, but seriously. Do I really come off as a person who cares? That's what I thought.

But apparently, he came back.

"Aw, Saki, that was cruel," Kakashi stands up and rubs his head, I narrow my eyes at him from under my blankets. He smiles, I think, sheepishly. I roll over and face the opposite way. Hah, yes! Take the ignorance!

"Your the worst student I have ever had the pleasure of teaching," He grumbled walking around the bed, to reprimand me, like a mom. Heh, Kakashi, mom. Hah.

"Your an ass. Now get out of my room," I growl, as I flip over. He pats my head.

"My Saki, what colorful language. Ah, I remember the time when I said hell and you about had a fit. Yelling at me, that cursing was bad and a big no no. Those were the days," He rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Ah well. Those times are gone. Now, all that's left is a potty mouthed PMS-er." I punched him.

"Ow." He mumbled finding his footing and 'hmph'-ing. "Well, fine then. I'll leave."

I smile. "Good, get out."

Kakashi shuffles over to my door. "You were supposed to say, 'No, Kakashi-kun! Please, stay!"

"Since when did I call you Kakashi-kun?" I ask skeptically from underneath my comforter. He shrugs.

"You don't. But you should," He says. "Anyway, bye Saki!"

And with that my silver haired ex-sensei left my room, with a soft 'click' from my door. I grin, satisfied. Yes, fully this time.

I close my eyes and attempt to seep into dream land.

Actually, scratch that. Never mind, I'm going to take a break from dream land for a while. Yeah. That's a good idea. I should-

I hit my forehead, I am keeping myself awake. I need my sleep, or I'll be logical all day. Oh and sleepy. I snuggle down into my bed and squint my eyes shut. And right before I go unconscious a voice sounds throughout my head.

'_Hey! Wake up! We need to talk!'_

It yells, Oh crap. Man, I'm crazy. There goes my bet with Tenten. Dammit, I don't have a thousand dollars. Stupid Tenten and her high betting prices.

'_Hello? I know you can hear me!'_

'What? Er, yeah?'

I think. Hm. This is very awkward and the slightest bit disturbing. Sniffles. I wonder if I'll lose my job. No! I can't lose-

'_Would you shut up! Your not crazy!'_

Oh fantastic it reads minds.

'_It? What do you mean 'It'?! I am you, you idiot!'_

No you're not. I'm me. Unless. . .No, your you and I'm me. Your not me and I'm not you. Yeah. Now it all makes sense.

_'No wonder, Tenten thinks I'm an idiot'_

Tenten doesn't think your an idiot, she thinks I'm an idiot. . .Who are you?

_'You. I'm the inner you. I am usually surfaced when your sleepy. That's why your smarter, when your tired.'_

Gee, thanks. Your so nice. Evil, little thing.

_'Your annoying.'_

You know what? Blah, blah, blah! I can't hear you!

_'Don't yell in your head, it makes you sound stupid'_

Go away! It was hard enough to think with out you being here!

_'. . .Did you just call yourself stupid.'_

No. I don't think I did.

_'Indirectly?'_

. . .Wha?

'_You idiot.'_

. . . Wait. If your me and I'm you. Then, doesn't that mean you just insulted yourself? Hah! You, un-smart person!

_'I can't believe you figured that on on your own.'_

Is that an indirect insult?

'_No. That was direct.'_

Oh. Then what's an indirect one?

_'It's like- No never mind, you wouldn't be able to comprehend it.'_

That's mean! I'm ignoring you! Meanie, inner conscious!

'_Idiot.'_

I ignored the inner that started to explain my feelings to me about somebody. I can't really remember what she's talking my about, because my mind starts to get a little fuzzy. I decide to quit trying to understand her and I let sleep take me down. Again. Sigh.

Stupid sleep.

Stupid inner.

Stupid dreams.

Stupid bed.

Stupid house.

Stupid family.

Stupid work.

Stupid Sasuke.

Stupid life

I'm going to sleep.

XXXXXXX

Okay.

All done!

This really was just a random idea I thought of for a chapter. And my friend asked me earlier why there was no inner Sakura. So Here she is. Also, Kakashi decided to visit too.

This was kind of a mini detour off the plot line. Which will come into focus, next chapter. So thanks for reading all the way.

And review. Please,

red-flower


	5. Poptarts and Guitar Hero 3

Hello, allo!

So its been a while. . .yeah. I've been sleeping all day, as per usual. Just a little more than normal, and I've been watching Pirates of The Caribbean, a whole bunch. So, I apologize for the slow-ness of my update. . .Special thanks goes to:

candyluver, kyo12591, deedee2043, cherrysaki-chan, SweetKisses9, frumpyrox, Strawberry Lulz, BeautifulMoonLitRose, lovSakuRa, SakuraGaara, ShatteredKunai, Theblackroseofkonoha, TigerLilyette, oni-hime-san

One very important thing. I'm not going to do that anymore. That, as in what's above. For serious.

Okie dokie, now: My disclaimer of total cool-ish-ness! Emphasis on the ish.

I AM disclaiming all of the Naruto series! Yes, now I have done it!

And yes, it is 5:22 in the morning. . .nobody say anything!

Here's the story XP:

XXXXXXXX

What the friggin hell?

Somebody's jumping on me?

I hate this, this early in the morning, I am definitely not a morning person, so I definitely hate waking up to . . . _this_.

Jeez, I mean, who's idea was it to make everything happen in the morning, why can't work begin at night, or school in the afternoon?!

. . .Now, it shall be my life long goal to destroy anyone who enjoys anytime between five and eleven in the morning. Mwaha-

"Sakuraaaaaa, wake up! I really don't wanna have to do this," I hear.

Well that got me up. My eyes shoot open and I bolt upright in the bed, er, sorta. Ino's sitting on me, with a bucket of water held up above her head. I glare menacingly at her.

"Don't you _dare,_" I hiss, my eyes narrowed slits. She lowers her arms, laying the silver bucket on her lap/my tummy.

"Man! Why'd you have to go and wake up, dammit? I really wanted to pour this on you! They only do this in the movies," Ino whines at me, slowly pulling her weight off. I stretch, my grumpy face still on, and no, it won't be off until one PM. I got a while.

"You told me to!"I grumble attempting to point an accusing finger at her while arching my back, and hearing the funny little pops that come from my spine, . . .That sentence sounded kind of, er, painful. I mean, is your spine _supposed _to do that? Holy crap! I'm dying!!

"Sakura?"

"Wha. . .?" I ask, hearing my name. Yeah, not the most intelligent of answers, but, meh, what can I say, I'm sorta, kinda, not really, stupid.

"You dip, I said, I know but I didn't actually think you were gonna hear me. You know, with the whole, 'I'm retarded!' Look you got going there," Ino explains slowly, like I'm some sort of mentally challenged kid, who talks to herself. . .don't you say anything, I bet you do it too!

"Shut up, pig." I mumble, rolling off of my bed and smacking, face first, into the carpet. Okay, a face plant at eight in the morning? I just know, somewhere somebody's laughing at me. Somewhere!

"Yeah, yeah. Now hurry scurry, Kakashi wanted to talk to you before he left," Ino states holding the gray bucket tightly in her arms. I scratch my head and sit up, rubbing my poor red nose. Why? I mean, what the heck did I freaking do to deserve being woken up at eight on a _Sunday _morning? Wha! I don't wanna get up! Stupid Kakashi and your stupidness! I hate him! I don't know why, but I do. You know, I should see a psychiatrist. . . Yeah, I don't know what that is, but that's what Sasori and Mikazuki where talking about one time when I was nine, they went into the kitchen and they said 'I think maybe we should take Sakura to a psychiatrist, she needs help,' or something like that. Aren't they evil older siblings, evil. I think Mikazuki thought up the idea. You know what? I'm not talking to her today. Yup, not at all, that's what she get-

A freezing cold feeling flows over my body at this exact moment. I feel wet, and I feel cold. And I also feel like I'm gonna murder Ino for pouring a bucket of ice cold water on me!

"Ino," I growl viciously, my pink hair sticking to the sides of my face. I shiver, both from the cold and from the murderous intent flowing through my veins. " I am going to obliterate you!" I screech, as she screams like a girl and dashes for the exit. Yes, obliterate. Kinda like Exodia from that old card anime that I watched when I was a teenager. Anyway.

"Get back here, you conniving little brat!" I holler, my fist shaking, as I chase my blond headed friend down the hall way and towards the stairs.

"But, you spaced out! I thought you needed to be woken up, again!" She shrieks, hurrying down our staircase, she all of a sudden flings the bucket behind her, "Self defense!" She yells. I immediately throw my arms up, and the bucket ricochet off me. Ow. What the hell? She threw a freaking metal bucket at me. Now I'm gonna kill her twice as hard!

"Well, me spacing out is no excuse to pour water on me and then, _and then_, you threw a bucket at me! A bucket!" I shout, my wet shirt clinging to my skin, as was the top half of my pants. "Where the hell did you even get one of those buckets?!"

I run by Kakashi, Mikazuki and Itachi. . .? Huh? Why's he here? . . .Meh, whatever, its better than Sasuke. That'd be kinda sucky. I see Ino sprint behind Kakashi and hide, meekly. I skid to a stop, inches away from the silver haired man. Hey, was he born with that hair? No seriously, like, what kid has gray hair when there born?! I bet, when he's and old seventy year old, his hair's gonna be black. I can see it now! Kakashi, the reverse aging hair man! Come and see him, along with Sasuke, the worlds biggest jackass! All the money I could get, wow, this could be big-

Huh?

Why's everyone staring at me?

"What're you guys looking at? Do I have something on my face?" I ask looking around at everyone in the room. Everyone being: Mika-chan, Itachi, Sasori ,didn't see him earlier, meh, oh well, Kakashi, and Ino. And their all staring at me. Damn, that's a lot of eyes.

"You. . .you're wet," Kakashi mumbled, eying me.

. . .

. . . Oh yeah!

Ino dumped a bucket of water on me! Now I remember-

That asshole! "Ino!" I yowl. Yes yowl. It's kinda what cats do. But I hate cats, all they do is whine at me and then when I get mad, they become all purr like and crap. Stupid animal and its mood swings of imminent death. Speaking of imminent death, that's what should be happening to Ino! Hah. Well, then. Let's get too it.

My eyes get darker and I growl, lurching towards her. Unfortunately, I never got her. A stupid masked man grabbed me. "Lemme go!" I hiss, my arms flailing on either side of Kakashi.

"Sakura! Calm down, your shirt's see through!" I hear Kakashi call right next to my ear. Ooh, another ear bleeding moment. Anyway! What he said makes me stop. I fall back onto the balls of my feet.

So wait, let me get this straight.

My shirt's so wet its see through.

My **shirt's** so wet its see through.

My shirt's so wet its** see through**.

My shirt's so **wet** its see through.

**My** shirt's so wet its see through.

Well, that's interesting.

. . .

"WHAT?! DON'T LOOK!" I screech, crossing my damp arms over my, showing, bra. I glare at who ever is in front of me, hah, Kakashi. I notice Ino cowering behind him, her petite form shivering in fear. She looks a little like Hinata. I growl at her, making her flinch. Okay, I'm satisfied, for now.

"Now, go. Fetch me a new _not _wet shirt, or else!" I glare, my most ee-vil glare of deathness and she skitters away, like a scared . . . Well, I'm not really sure. But a scared something! That counts right? Right.

No, shut up. It does.

"Guys, quit staring at her, perverts!" Mikazuki demands, rushing over to protectively wrap her arms around me. Sasori sends a little glare to everyone in the room that isn't sopping wet. Oh, wait! All that leaves is me. Grr. Baka Ino and her idiotic ways of dumping buckets of water on pink haired adults and her ability to make me grumble to myself.

"Seriously." Sasori growls, stepping over and placing his arms on me as well, to create a fortress of siblings. Mwahaha! Completely unstoppable! . . . Unless you have guns of course. Yeah, my siblings aren't impervious to weaponry. Sadly.

. . .

So, how's life? Mine's normal. You know with work, and life, and uninterestingly stupid bosses who should die and get a girlfriend- Where the hell is Ino with that shirt?! I'm freaking freezing! Hehe. 'Freaking', 'Freezing' They sound similar. Yeah. Okay. That was dumb. I wonder what I should eat for breakfast, maybe eggs, or-

"Sakura! Here's a shirt!"

Well then. Fine, go and interrupt my mental menu! See if I care! God, _Ino's_ they think they rule my thoughts. I promptly take the shirt from her hands and examine. I don't trust her anymore. Her and her bad fashion sense.

Anyway, the shirt is a black shirt with these little red puffs of clouds on them- Ahem. Yeah, this isn't my shirt.

"Ino?" I ask calmly, holding up the too big shirt. "This isn't mine." Ino tilts her head to the side and gives me confused look.

"Huh. Well, it was in your drawers. Are you sure?" She asks crossing her arms over her dark purple shirt, frowning at the black t-shirt, I am now holding up. Did she just ask me if I was sure?! Of course I'm damn sure! I know my own clothes! And I also know my own brother's clothes. . . don't ask. Let's just say I baby sit him a lot, and baby sitting leads to dressing. And no, I have not forgotten that he's older, by so and so years. It's just, you know, I'm eight and he's, like, fourteen and all he does is cling to me yelling, 'Kawaii! Kawaii! Don't touch her Mika-chan!' So who had to be the responsible one? Yeah, me. My childhood was a strange one- No, you know what? My whole life's a strange one! Anyway, I should answer Ino.

"Yes, I'm sure." I know. I'm laying it on, gently. "And I don't care if it was in my drawers- Speaking of which, why was it in my drawers?" I ask, turning suspicious eyes to my older brother, who, by the way is in my bubble. He shrugs carelessly.

"Dunno." He answers dully. I glare at him. Well, great. He's a big help. I wonder why I even put up with him. Oh, yeah, he's my brother-

_'You put it there.'_

Agh! I jump, and I my head spins around, trying to find out where the sounds coming from.

_'I'm in your head you imbecile.'_

Well, that would explain a lot of things. Speaking of which do you know where the pop-tarts are?

_'That was completely off subject. Also, the shirt belongs to Sasori-nii, but you put it in your drawers, because he told you to. So just wear the damn thing.'_

No cursing, bad inner self! And did you just call Sasori, 'Sasori-nii'?! I've _never _called him that! Oh. And yeah, I'll wear the shirt. I just shrug at Ino, who was momentarily forgotten, and slip my light blue shirt off. To bad I forgot about the occupants of the room.

"Sakura, d-don't! Not in front of all these guys," I hear Sasori on my right. I wonder what he's talking about . . . I look down, and see my bare torso, save for my white bra.

Ooh. That's what he means.

"Well, what a crappy turn of events. . .STOP LOOKING YOU SICK MINDED FIENDS!" I scream, not really bothering to cover myself up since Sasori and Mikazuki are doing just fine. Itachi and Kakashi turn away, but I did notice Itachi's gaze lingers a second longer than Kakashi's. Humph, perv . . . with Sasuke's face. I drop my old shirt onto the wood flooring and slip into Sasori's shirt. It goes all the way down to the middle of my thighs. Wow, I don't even need pants!

"Quit, peeking glances you sick minded closet pervert," I hear Sasori say, glaring evilly at Kakashi. I knew it. I always knew it! Kakashi _is _a closet perv!

What's that smell? . . .Eeew! This shirt smells like Sasori! I mean, not that he smells _bad, _it's just, you know, he's my brother! And stuff. I shudder.

"You done, baby?" Sasori asks me tenderly holding me closer to his chest. I yawn and shrug.

"Yeah. Hey, do you know where the pop-tarts are?" I question, peering up at him through a wave of pink hair. He smiles at me and leans down to kiss my forehead.

"Yes, would you like some?"

My whole face brakes into a full on smile. Yay! Pop-tarts for Sakura, pop-tarts for Sakura! "Yes, Sasori-nii!"

Sasori froze. Oops. I let that slip. Stupid inner and her stupidness. Grr. I never call him that! Now he's gonna do something weird. I slowly and carefully turn my head to glance at my twenty nine year old brother. He's shocked, that's for sure.

". . .Baby?"

Uh-oh.

"Yes?"

". . .Your so cute! You've finally called me nii! Aw, I love you!" He shouts, out of character-ish-ly, and glomps me. Dammit. I knew this would happen. I grunt from the full on force of the hug and tilt sideways. Mikazuki comes from out of nowhere and rips me out of Sasori's arms.

"Don't touch my baby, you loser!" She yells, using the hand that isn't clutching my shoulder to pull down her bottom eyelid, and stick out her tongue. Sasori growls, literally. And makes a leap for me and Mikazuki, and we're all tackled to the floor.

Aw man. This _always _happens. Jeez, I know sibling rivalry and all, but does it really mean over your younger sister. I guess I'm still the cute little girl that needs to be held and loved, in there eyes huh? Aw.

That's so cute. I think I like them more now.

"Guys could you get off me? I can't exactly breathe," I mumble from underneath Mikazuki's breast. Yeah, not a place anyone would want to be. Except maybe her boyfriend, but thats a whole _different _story, one that I want no part of.

Ew, now I have nasty mental images. So gross that I won't even describe them to you. . .Fine, do you really wanna know? Well to bad! I'll just say this, it involves Mikazuki, Kazuki and a pop-tart. Yeah.

Oh, hey look! The siblings are getting off, I can see the ceiling! I feel somebody's hand grab my wrist and pull me up. I give out a muffled thanks, before I'm hugged to Sasori's chest. Again.

Gee wiz, what a wonderful way to start the day. Heh, that rhymed. Sweet.

"C'mon, baby, I'll get you some pop-tarts," I hear Sasori, faintly in the dark recesses of my mind. Hm. Never knew I had that. Cool! Anyways, I follow Sasori, or rather am dragged by Sasori, to the kitchen. Sasori than leaves my side to go to the pantry and retrieve some pop-tarts for yours truly. Don't you just love pop-tarts? Aren't they so poppy and tart-y. Yeah, no.

Sasori gets the strawberry goodness pop-tarts and opens the bag, while walking over to the toaster. Mikazuki comes bouncing in, with a smile adorning her features. And it is that smile that transforms into a sadistic smirk as she wraps her arm around my shoulder and Sasori looks over his shoulder at me.

"Sasori-nii, this nasty shirt smells just like you!" Mikazuki grumbles at Sasori, while he glares hatefully at her.

"Well, good. Maybe, my baby, won't have you clinging to her all the time, it probably gets annoying," Sasori, hisses as he drops the pop-tarts into the toaster.

He's got that right! But what he doesn't know, is that he does the exact same thing. Poor Sasori. But, I still love him to deaths. Well, kinda.

"Hey, Sakura! After you get your pop-tarts, wanna come play guitar hero 3 with me?" Mikazuki asks, smirking at Sasori the entire time. Sasori's eyes narrow visibly. I turn my gaze from Sasori to my orange-haired sister and I tilt my head.

"Can Sasori-nii come?" Crap it just slipped out. Dang it! I'm Sakura I don't call him that. Its like in my genetic code! God, you stupid inner! How dare you make me call my brother, nii! That's just pure ee-vil!

"Wha?? But I just thought it'd be the two of us with Ino or something! But not him!" Mikazuki shrieks and points an offending finger at Sasori, who smirks triumphantly in return. It is a well known fact that I prefer Sasori over Mikazuki, I mean come on. Now don't give me that face, I love my sister, but. . .well, you know, you'd choose Sasori too.

"Hn. Fine, he can come." Mikazuki mumbles, pouting. Just then the pop-tarts popped out of the toaster and Sasori grabbed them, along with a plate and plopped them onto it.

"Squee! Pop-tarts!" I squeal, squirming out of Mikazuki's arms and hopping over to Sasori, who smirked in the direction of above my head. Yes, it's aimed at Mikazuki but I'm so short it goes over my head. And now I know why Fish stick called me half-pint. Whaa! I'm such a tiny twenty three year old!

But that is not the immediate danger.

. . .

What? I don't _know _what the immediate danger _is_. I just know that that's not it! Duh! And so now I shall eat my pop-tart!

As I'm biting into my pop-tart of sugary goodness Mikazuki ushers me out of the kitchen, "C'mon! Let's go play guitar hero 3!" She cheers, grabbing Kakashi and Itachi's hands and dragging them behind her. I stay a little behind to avoid, being hurt and to wait for my annoying older brother.

And it is while I am waiting that the blond dit- I mean, Ino, comes up to me, just now flipping her phone shut.

"Sorry, Sakura. I really wanna hang out, especially with Itachi," I roll my eyes, taking another bite and enjoying the frosting, "But I gots to go, Temari says she's gonna murder me if I don't help her finish this stupid college project she's working on for her Psych class."

"'Kay, 'kay! See ya, and tell me how the project goes," I wave as Ino spins on her heel and walks to the front door.

"Alrighty! Tell Ita-kun I said bye-bye!" Ino winks at me and opens the door to leave.

"Sure sure," I mumble waving her out. Right then, Sasori came out of the kitchen.

"Did Ino leave?" He asks, sounding a bit too eager. Wow, he really does hate her. I knew it. I notice Sasori slink over to me and wrap his arm round my shoulders.

"Shall we go?" He asks, nuzzling his pointed nose into my cherry colored hair of complete and total awesomeness. One that you will never possess! Mwahaha!

Unless, you somehow are a genetically altered freak who was mysteriously born with pink hair. And I am so not talking about me! Evil readers and their assumptions, of evil assumption-y-ness!

-

- (Isn't this cooler than a whole bunch of X's?)

-

"If I was a monkey, I would totally go rampant on your skinny ass. I would totally own you at this game!"

"Psh, whatever."

"Don't Psh me!"

"Yeah, don't Psh my baby!"

"I _thought _I told you not to call her that!"

"Yeah, well I _thought_ you weren't possessive!"

"I'm not!"

"Shut up, I can't hear the music!"

"Yes, baby,"

"Oh shut up, Sasori. You are such a dog,"

"No one asked you, old man."

"Touchy, touchy."

"Zip it! Mikazuki!"

"Make me!"

"I will!"

"Sasori-nii, don't kill Mika-chan with my slipper!"

"Sorry."

"Starpower. Heh. I win."

"WHA? That- you fucking cheated! I saw you!"

"Sakura your delirious, you can't cheat on Guitar Hero."

"I knew it, Itachi, all your kind are scammers!"

"My kind?"

"Yeah! You use extortion to keep your secret hidden!"

"Huh. Cute."

"What?!"

"Sasori-nii, calm down. You can't kill a fellow Akatsuki member."

"Shut up, Mikazuki! No one calls, _my _baby cute except me!"

"Hold him down!"

"Roger that!"

". . ."

". . ."

". . ."

"You _so _did not just say that."

-

-

-

And there you have it!

The latest addition to the bosses chapter! And I typed this during a tropical storm and in the midst of typing the next chapter to My Pet Hot Guys. A very confusing and migraine filled night I have had.

Kudos to you, and have a good day.

Review, please? I'll give you a pop-tart filled with strawberry goodness!

If you do that is,

red-flower11


	6. Staying for a while?

What's up?

Thankies, for all the lovely reviews from you completely wonderful reviewers!

Sasuke shall appear in this chapter. Yays.

Since, you know, he's been MIA for a while.

**Disclaimer: Yeah, no. Why do I write this in bold? It's not any more special than everything else. Hm. . .Well, that's something to dwell on.**

Enjoy, because this is for you!

-

-

-

'-nd this is a strawberry flavored pop tart. But he has, a Toaster Strudel. Which one do you think he'll eat? . . . Yup! You guessed it, the Toaster Strudel has a warmth and fluff that the strawberry pop tart will never-'

I growl, arms crossed tightly over my chest, as I glare fervently at the black box, we call a television. Dammit! How dare they lie to those poor innocent children! Now they've probably go it in their heads that those damn Toaster Strudels actually taste better than a delicious and nutritious strawberry pop tart. Okay. Maybe their not totally nutritious, but whatever.

Asshole of a Toaster Strudel, just you fucking wait, I'm gonna slaughter that fat little white boy. Damn the Pillsbury Dough boy and his false advertisement!

So right now you may be wondering exactly why I'm sitting in my (totally awesome) living room and watching a stupid (LYING) commercial, on my TV. Well. Itachi let it slip after the onslaught of guitar hero, that he (and another) would be staying at my house for God knows how long. The reason? I have no effing clue.

They're, as in Itachi, Sasori and Mika-chan, in the kitchen, talking about what the reason _is_ (should be). Maybe there isn't a reason. And my whole family, and Itachi, are lying to me!

Gah, why's everyone lying to me today?! First TV, then Sasori, then Itachi, then Mikazuki! . . .Okay, so I guess Sasori, Itachi and Mikazuki are technically all in the same group, but. Yeah.

Then I'd only have two measly liars instead of of four! And we all know four totally PWNS two. Anyway, I did here a tiny portion of their conversation. Here.

'She hates him, a lot. She's not gonna be happy about this! _I'm _not happy about this!' That had been Sasori. And then came,

'Your never happy, unless it involves Sakura and nothing about anything that may take Sakura away from you,' Itachi, had said matter-o-factly.

'Well I hate him too!' Mikazuki chided in,

'Your almost the same as him,'

'Screw you. . . Sasori-nii, I hate your friends!'

I sigh. Jeez, and that'd be all I had heard, before Itachi noticed me leaning in closer to hear. Then they moved farther back into the damned kitchen. So here I am, all on my lonesome, sittin' on a couch and NOT enjoying the television. Wait! I hear footsteps.

I jerk my head in their direction, jerkily. Agh! Whiplash! Itachi's headed over to me, Sasori and Mikazuki still in the kitchen, fighting in hushed whispers. I give the Uchiha a curious look, as he plops himself gracefully next to me. . .Huh? Can you _plop _yourself 'gracefully'? Eh, whatever.

"Sakura," Itachi begins, softly and slowly. Like I'm some kind of retarded _kid_. God, I hate being called a kid.

_'So you _don't _mind being called a retard?'_

I- . . .Oh. Shut up you stupid other self! Oh, hey! Look, Itachi's lips are moving, but no words are coming out!

_'Or maybe, there is words coming out, and your just blocking out whatever he's saying! And totally missing the reason why he (and another) are staying in our house!'_

Ah. Yes, that could be it. I should probably listen, eh?

"-So I hope, you believe me when I tell you this," Well, hey! Lookie there! It looks like words were coming out after all!

"The reason me and my brother are staying here is because our entire estate was set ablaze, and we no longer have a place to live," He says, looking me in my eyes calmly. _Ablaze_?! Hah! Who even says ablaze anymore?! I mean- Wait, major back up!

He didn't say _brother_ did he? . . .Nah, he wouldn't bring over _that _crazy nut job. Right?. . . RIGHT?!

"What did you just say?" I ask quietly, leaning my left ear towards his face, you know, the one with those funny lines on either side. . .Speaking of which-

"My house was lit on fire?" He questions, giving me a confused look. I narrow my evil little green eyes at him, and his taller than me -ness. "Um, er, hold on. . .The reason me and my brother-"

"Aha! . . ." We sat in silence, as I thought processed this little tidbit of information.

. . .

"Sak-"

"OH MY GOD! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" I screech, pouncing off the sofa and onto the wood floor, I jab my finger at Itachi. I mean, 'cause how _dare _he! What makes him think I, the great and powerful Sakura, would even let that sycophant he calls a brother into my house! It's bad enough dealing with him at work, I really don't need or want him at home! OH MY GOD! Just the thought makes me wanna scream oh my God!

_'Would you please stop screeching in your head, it's very annoying. Now I know how much we hate Sas-'_

DON'T SAY THAT NAME IN THIS HEAD!

_'Sigh. Okay, theoretically this is a mind. Not a head. Anyway, _Uchiha _we hate, but you need to calmly and rationally think this through. Like, how can Itachi and Uchiha have only _one _house, when they're THAT_ _rich. They could most obviously go somewhere else, right?'_

Right. . .

"Hey, Itachi! Why don't you two just go to a different house of yours, or , like, buy another one? With the shit load of money you have, I know you have enough money!" I yell, watching him accusingly, and leaning down on him, to scrutinize his face. Since, he's sitting on the couch, and I'm standing. His face is pretty priceless, he's probably freaked out from my extreme mood swings. Well, if that boy thinks he's gonna stay in my house, then he's gonna have to get used to them! Man, I say gonna a lot.

"Because, Sasuke doesn't want to have to leave the city, and our closest establishment is 150 miles from here. And, uh, yeah we do have enough money to just _buy _a house. But I didn't think we should just waste money like that, it'd be better to stay at a fellow Akatsuki member's house,"

Damn, Sasori-nii, and his Akatsuki membership.

_'You make it sound like it's some recreation center,'_

"And since you have the plus that your rich, we decided that it'd be best to stay at the Haruno's," Itachi finishes, reaching towards my finger that's now stabbing him in the chest, and pulling away from himself. Too bad that was what I was using for support!

And in a millisecond, I'm tumbling face first onto Mister Uchiha.

And then we fell off the couch. Agh crap.

When I'm sure I'm done falling, I open my sealed tight eyes. Black. Lots and lots of black. Wow, our floor looks so much browner from far away. . . Wait, this black smells nice. Hehe. It smells good! I start burying my face deeper into the back silkiness, a giggle whispering from my sightly parted lips. Hey, that was almost poetic! I'm a poet and I didn't know it! . . .Yeah, I know that's like the oldest one in the book, but . . .Meh.

"Um, Sakura? Why're you _sniffing _my hair?" Come's Itachi's disturbed voice, a chuckle following the absurd question. Grrs. How dare he insinuate that I was doing something so-

_'The black would be his hair,'_

OH! I totally knew that!

_'Uh huh.'_

But I-I did!

_'Sure?'_

FOR sure.

I lift my head up and stare down at the confused Itachi. Apparently right now, I am straddling him, like, knee on the floor by his hips. My hands are on either side of his head, and I use them to lift myself up into a four legged position. I'm about to get off, when he opens his mouth to say something.

"OH MY GOD! SAKURA, BABY, DON'T DO THAT! ITACHI'LL GET THE WRONG IDEA!" Well, that sure as hell didn't come from Itachi's mouth. We both look up and see- I mean _I _look up, Itachi kinda arches his back to see Sasori upside down. Said red head, stops in his tracks, eyes wide. I arch a pink eyebrow. What the hell is his problem? It's not like we're having-

Oh. I guess _that _could be it. You see, when Itachi lifted off the ground to look behind himself at Sasori, he kinda sorta pressed our bodies – ew – closer together. That probably made the problem worse in Sasori's eyes. Eh, I should most likely get off him, before he has a heart attack, Mika-chan too. I look at the other frozen orange haired girl in the kitchen doorway. But before I can remove myself from the above of Itachi, the door swings open and almost the worst possible person walks in, (Sasuke being first).

"Oh! Wow, Sakura. How'd someone like you manage to land a guy like _that_?" Karin asks, dropping her tiny, itsy bitsy purse on the ground and throwing her jacket next to it. She sniffs, walking over to us. So I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear her comment. I watch her with the utmost hostility as she crouches to examine Itachi's annoyed face. "Oh yeah, a real sexy one. Damn, Sakura, can I have him when your done?"

I blanched. AGH! That's so _gross_! I glare daggers at her, and she casts me a surprised glance, before returning her gaze to Itachi's face. "Hm, Well, I never expected you to be the jealous type. But _please _let me borrow, him for just an hour. His face just makes me so damn _horny-_"

Before she can finish that disturbing sentence, Sasori whisks her away, and up the stairs. Mumbling something about having to change the rating. Ew. Now I have frightening, scarring mental pictures. Aw Shit.

Then all of a sudden a thought comes into my tiny little brain.

_'You got that right.'_

Shut up. I smirk down at Itachi. "You saw that. That thing, it's my older sister. Are you _sure_ you wanna stay here for the month? Hmm?" Itachi shivers, involuntarily. 'Cause, why else would a grown man tremble in fear?

"Oh well, We'll have to deal with _it_, we've already made arrangements," Itachi finishes, with a smile. Tch. Ass. I glare evilly, before rolling off of him, and onto the cold, hard, wooden, not soft and good smelling, floor. Stupid wood floor and your ability to inflict pain upon little pink haired women. _Damn _you.

"You suck." I say, my arms tightly crossed as I jump to my bare feet, Itachi soon beside me. Mikazuki materializes in front of me, a giant smile spreading across her face. She hugs me, and my poor innocent face is mashed into her overly large chest.

Agh! Suffocation! Death by boobs!

"I'm so sorry you had to see that bitch drooling over Itachi like a sex deprived animal!" She exclaims, petting my hair, all insecure like. Man, she's weird. Almost as strange as Sasuke, but not. Speaking of Sasuke –

"Where's Sasuke and Itachi sleeping, exactly?" My voice comes out muffled. You know, 'cause of the giant breasts in my face.

"What was that, baby –"

"Don't you _dare_," Sasori hisses, rushing from the stairs, and too my side. I think. I can't really tell, because THERE'S GINORMO BOOBIES IN MY EFFING FACE!

CH. Anyway, Sasori pulls me out of Miss big boobs' arms, and against his chest, a growl and a glare shot at Mikazuki.

"Hey! She's my sister too!" Mika-chan shouts, glaring daggers at my red headed brother. Sasori yells something in retort, but I'm to busy rubbing my eyes and examining my bitten nails to care.

"Dammit! I don't care, she still likes me the best!"

_'Your nails are bitten?'_

"Whatever! Get out of your dreamland, Sasori-nii!"

Of course they are! Hey, wait a minute. If you say your me, then how the hell do you _not _know I bite OUR nails?! I knew it! You've been lying to me! I can't believe I fell for your little farce! And even worse, it was all in my head! I'm practically lying to myself! I'm in, like, freaking denial! OMG!

"I'm not in a dreamland! Your just jealous!"

_'No. Your not lying to yourself, you dimwit. God, your annoying.'_

"Oh yeah, don't you know? I'm so jealous – Of your stupidity!"

Ouch, If your me. Than that _had _to hurt too. And you know why.

"Nice come back. Oh, and _that_ was sarcasm, if you even know what that means,"

_'Yeah, yeah. Damn that black haired brat and his ability to call sensitive, pink haired, big foreheaded girls annoying. Forever scarring them, and making them flinch at the simple sound of the word. Damn him, to hell!'_

"Oh, go to hell, Sasori-nii!"

Wow! You really are me! We act just the same! My life's not a lie after all!

"Gladly, but only if you come too."

_'Yes, yes. Let's not remind me.'_

"Sakura, tell Sasori-nii that you like me better than him!"

Aw shit. I'm getting a serious case of Deja Vu.

"Yeah right. Tell her I've been and always will be, your favorite!"

Sigh. Life bites. I can swear someone's laughing at me up there. Damn them.

"Sakura!"

"Sakura!"

"Um, er. . .I-I,"

"Hello? Is anyone home? I've been knocking for a while, so I just decided to let myself in," Some life saver called from the foyer. I so totally owe whoever that is. Jeez, someday I'm just gonna need to tell them that I like them equally, no matter how much of a total and complete lie it may be.

_'You got that right.'_

I brace myself, as I prepare to officially glomp my savior number two, who I hear remove their shoes and appear around the corner. And I run towards them, out of Sasori's arms.

Wait.

. . .

Shiznats.

Whenever he stepped into view, I stopped mid-glomp, staring up at the mysterious man I had just randomly, ALMOST, wrapped my arms around.

Yeah.

You guessed right. Or maybe you didn't. But let's lie and say you did, okay?

"Er, hi Sasuke, long time, and fortunately, no see. . ." I chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of my head. Life bites. Yes, _MORE _than it did two minutes ago. Sasuke stares at me in astonishment, his mouth agape. I glare. I am SO not that ugly.

"Y-you, what are you doing here?!" Sasuke shoves his finger at me, his face showing raging hysteria. I raise my eyebrow. This situation also makes me receive a big spoonful of Deja Vu. Except for I was the one jumping around and throwing accusations at the poor Itachi.

"I live here, smart one," I say, through clenched teeth, a _forced _smile on my aching face. Yes, let's try and be gentle. The corner of my lips twitch, slightly.

_'Play nicely, now.'_

"O-oh." Sasuke, 'oh's'. Nice.

"Uh huh. Well, hey Sasuke. You finally decided to show up," Itachi joins in, heading over to stand next to me. Again. He puts his arm around my shoulders light, a tight smile gracing his face. Ew. Itachi germs.

"What's all the commotion?" I hear a voice come from the stairs. Everyone turns to see who it is, except Sasuke. He's still gawking at me, like a fish. Kakashi waves, finally making his appearance. Well, what can I say? The dude's obsessed with some James Bond video game, and he's been upstairs playing it ever since we finished Guitar Hero. Crazy old man, who's only thirty.

"Oh, hello Sasuke. What a pleasant surprise," Kakashi smiles, leaning against the banister, and casting him a slightly interested look. "What brings you to my house?"

HIS house. Oh, _hell _no.

"_What _was that, Kakashi, dearest?" I hiss, glaring holes into his white, fluffy hair. He gives me an innocent look.

"I love you?" He smiles, rubbing the back of his neck.

"That's what I thought."

"You all live here?!" Sasuke exclaims, still giving me a horror filled look. Jeez what the hell's his problem?

"Yeah, except Kakashi, he's just visiting," Mikazuki says, eying Sasuke warily, appearing on the other side of me. Her arm around my waist, reminding me that Itachi's arm is still on my shoulders. I mean, like, what the hell? Me and him? We're not _friends_. Heck, we're not even _buddies_, or acquaintances.

It seems Sasuke was reminded of Itachi's arm too, because he glares hotly at it. With a hateful scowl, directed at Itachi, he pulls me away and against his chest. Sigh. Damn, What the CRAP! Do I, like, have a freakin' sign above my head, 'Hey, pull this girl to your chest, yo might win a hundred bucks!' Jeez.

Man, I just know Sasori's gonna kill-

Oh, hey here he is. Sasori's got me in his arms within seconds, as I predicted, so awesomely. I'm good! I should be a fortune-

"Don't touch her,"

Grr. What's with people and interrupting my thoughts?! God. _People._

"Who the hell're you?" Sasuke asks icily, his face showing nothing but absolute distaste. Yeah, you heard right. I said, distaste.

Nobody says distaste in normal conversation. It's just _smart_.

_'Oh yeah. Heaven Forbid.'_

Screw the_ hell_ outta you.

"I'm Sakura, baby's, older brother," Sasori states cockily. Ugh, I hate dealing with two possessive people at the SAME time. It irks me. A lot.

"Well-"

"Oh, quit fighting you idiots. We kinda have a problem on our hands!" Mika-chan shouts, out of nowhere. Both guys turn to look at her. Wonder what problem she's talking about? Meh, I don't care-

Hold on. How many guest rooms do we have in this house?

_'Two. Duh.'_

Why the _fuck _do we only have TWO?!

_'Because Sasori, you and Mikazuki all agreed, movie rooms and game rooms were more important than guest rooms.'_

Ah.

. . .

Shits.

"He ain't staying in my room!" I yell. Everyone gives me curious glances, and some are scared. Dammit! I do NOT need therapy. God, you'd think Kakashi'd know this by _now_.

"Um, okay. . . Anyway. Guys, we only have TWO guest rooms. One of you is gonna have to sleep on the couch or in someone's room," Mikazuki says, apologetically. I don't get why SHE'S apologetic! I mean, _they're _the one's who barged in on us. Especially, Kakashi. What the hell kinda grown man is he?!

"Well, I obviously get a room," Itachi puts in, raising his hand. Sasuke and Kakashi glare at him.

"I call dibs," Sasuke calls, right when Kakashi opens his mouth.

"B-but! I'm an old family friend! You can't make an old guy like me camp put on the _couch_!" Mister white hair begs, his hands together as if he was praying. Oh _now _he's an old man. And all those times he told me, 'Saku-chan! I am _only _thirty one!' Hah!

He said '_Only'_! Heh, old man.

Sasuke scowls at Kakashi, and then all of a sudden smirks evilly and reaches into his pocket. "I'll give you a hundred for the room."

Mikazuki grins excitedly at the one hundred dollar bill, and then gives Kakashi a look. "Sorry old man! But money so totally beats you old man needs!" She cheers, grabbing the bill and shoving it into her pants pocket.

And you wonder.

Who the hell carries a hundred, carelessly in his pocket?

Oh yeah. _Millionaires_.

And then you wonder.

If they're so rich, why don't they just bye a penthouse?

Oh yeah. They're LAZY! You know, that word that they always tell you not to be in math class? Yeah. That basically describes the average Uchiha.

Damn those lazy, rich, _bastards._

"So, um, who wants which room?" Mika asks, looking from Itachi to Sasuke.

"What rooms are there?" Itachi asks, crossing his arms boredly. Did you know that boredly isn't even a word?!

I know! When I found out, I was like, 'NO! The dictionary lies!'

"Well, there's the one by the computers room, and then there's the one that's adjoined with Sakura's room," Mikazuki states, holding her chin in a thinking position.

"I'll take the one by the computers," Itachi volunteered, shrugging. Oh well, it's better than having his room _connected _to mine. Yeeah.

_'You do realize-_

"SO then I guess that leaves Sasuke with the room that's connected to Sakura's, case closed! Go ahead and get your stuff. I'll show you where the rooms are," Mika smiles, folding her hands behind her back.

. . .

_What _did she just say?

. . .

". . .Sakura?"

". . ."

"Maybe, she's in shock or-"

"**WHAT??"**

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-

Yup. And there you have it.

Have fun!

An review, please!

Please!,

red-flower11


	7. Two, Not So Good, Surprises

First of all, I shall apologize for this chapter's. . .lateness. Yeah. School's harder when you have MORE Pre-AP. I swear it was easier last year, I mean, I begged, got down on my freaking knees and groveled to my mom so that, _maybe_, she wouldn't make me take those damn smart classes. . .but no. She's EVIL. I just wanna be stupid!

ANYWAY.

So you may start reading this lovely chapter.

And you may ask: "Is this a love triangle? 'Cause if it is, you LIED!"

And so then my reply would have to be: ". . .Um, I . . .Aw, C'mon! I couldn't help myself! And anyway, he won't interfere for long, besides! Some of you ASKED for this. So . . . hah!"

Disclaimer: (Yah, no bold now! What are you gonna do, little **B **button, that's right! Nothing!) I do not own . . .your mom!/Naruto. WHY?!

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I cannot believe this!

How the hell did I end up sharing a room with the devil's spawn?!

_'Technically, your not sharing your room. And don't you remember? That devil's spawn's brother paid you off not to complain about it.'_

Of course I remember! It was like ten minutes ago!

_'Then why did you say-'_

I don't know! They say it all the time in movies! Don't question my motives lesser being!

"Er, didn't we just pass your room?"

Huh? What? Oh.

I turn my head to see the door with, 'SAKURA'S ROOM' painted on it, _behind _me. Hm, well, I could have sworn I was supposed to take him _to _the room not _by _it. Well, I tried. I shrug carelessly and point to my bedroom door. Because the only way to get to the guest room is to go through my room first.

Like, who the hell thought of that?! That's got to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard of!

_'And ever thought of,'_

What?!

Oh. Yeah, I think I maybe sorta kinda had thought of that. Dammit!

. . .But hell! What did I do, to deserve _this_? Jeez, I'm really gonna need to do some serious murdering. . .on Doom 3. What? You thought I meant _real _killing? Pshaw, yeahs right. I only murder if I get paid. That's all.

Ya know I'm kidding right? I mean, do you thing someone as sweet and innocent as little ol' me would be able to murder anyone?

_'Not counting Sas-?'_

_YES. _Not counting _him_.

"Nice room, Sa-ku-ra,"

Does he not know how to say my name TOGETHER? Like, without the freaking hyphens?! That's how you spell it right? Hy-phe-ns yeah? And no, I am not a damn Deidara! Stupid blond haired idiot. . .

"Hey, are you ignoring me?"

_Maybe._

"Sakura?"

Sigh. He's talking to me isn't he?

_'I dunno, _maybe_'_

Haha. Very funny.

. . . Ass.

_'Bite me.'_

I would but your kinda sorta IN MY HEAD. God, inner selves these days, think they can rule the head just cause they're smart. Well, ya can't inner! Ya can't.

_'He's talking to you, dip shit.'_

Wha-

"Hello? Sakura? Are you there?"

Well, _huh_. There's a big hand being waved in front of my face. Should I do something about this? Hm. . .

"Hey, if you don't move, then I'm going to have to devirginize you,"

. . .

"AGH! RAPIST! RAPIST! GET AWAY FROM ME! I REFUSE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH A SICK DEVIRGINIZING FREAK! Which, I really don't think is even a word, BUT STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM YOU BASTARD. . .SASORI!"

Well, what can I say, yelling is fun. I jump aproximately four feet away, when I hear the door slamming against the white pristine wall. Aw, I kinda liked my wall too. Sigh, oh well, my loss.

"What is it, baby, what's wrong?!"

HEY! He came. Aw, what a good brother. Time for the water works.

"Wah! Sasori-nii! That mean asshole Sasuke tried to rape me!" I cry leaping into his arms and pointing accusingly at chicken head over there. I can practically feel the tension rising at an insurmountable rate. Heh. Big word.

_'Anyway,'_

Uh hm. Yes, _anyway_, Sasori glares hatefully in my black haired boss's direction, his amber eyes aglow with deep dislike, wait, no that's hatred. I smirk mercilessly at the aforementioned man(Sasuke), as he glared back, double the intensity of my own brother's. Oh, he's _good._

"You, bas-"

"What the hell are you three doing in here?" Hey, look it's Itachi! Hi, Itachi!

_'This is your head, you moron,'_

Oh. Well, then-

_'No wait-'_

"Hi Itachi!" I smile, waving my free hand back in forth in his direction.

_'You idiot. Weren't you pretending to be SAD?!'_

Hey, wow. This is the first time you've ever screamed at me. . .Aw. Your growing up! I turn my thinking attention to Itachi when he lifts a thin black eyebrow at me. I give him another smile, this one nervous. You know, 'cause I just _love _smiling. Note, that was SARCASM.

"Um, this is kind of awkward, huh?" I say, looking between from Sasuke's (icky, gross, disgusting) face, to Sasori's evil I-hate-you face. Itachi steps toward me, and pulls me out of Sasori's arms, and into his own.

Well, this is unexpected. . .and _totally _not what I predicted. Dammit, why can't things just go the way I want them to, for _once_?! Jeez.

_'Your face is red,'_

WHAT! Damn it all! I was getting really good at that not looking like a tomato girl business.

_'And how's that working for you?'_

Do you have to ask? It's kind of obvious right now!

"Sasori, I think you should leave, you have an assignment don't you?" Itachi voices, still not letting go of me. I kinda hate this. I can't _see a_nything! All that's in front of me is black, the black from Itachi's shirt, oh and _little bitty _speck of light from above. . .my head! Not God. Definitely not God. Because why would God be in Itachi's _shirt_? Yeeah, it makes a _lot _less sense when you think about it.

I feel Sasori's evil, threatening watch-where-you-sleep-'cause-I'm-gonna-put-tacks-in-your-eyes look. And yes, I imagine tacks in your EYES might sting. A little. Actually, tacks in your anywhere, would probably sting. Meh, whatever.

"Tch, fine." And with that my over protective brother has been thoroughly shoved aside, theoretically, anyway. Now all that's left is Sasuke. I wonder- Oh, never mind, he's just scowling in my general direction. Well, I'll bet he's most likely hating on Itachi, but, you never know.

"_Itachi_," Sasuke hisses through his teeth, and- ! Are his eyes turning red?! I had twisted my head around in Itachi's tight grasp to see a dark reddish color bleeding over the dull black that I was used to. Hey, he looks like Itachi now! Aw, he's almost normal. _Almost_, anyway.

"Hn. Sasuke," Itachi says rather lightly, actually. Hm, weirdos. I mean, Sasuke's all 'Grr, I hate you' and Itachi's more like, 'Go screw yourself, or something else idiots do, I don't care'

They are _very _different people I'll give them that much. Yeah. Okay.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have _someone else_ to fuck, or is it just Deidara? 'Cause she's mine,"

Ooh, someones being mean. Who knew Sasuke was such a potty mouth? And is he insinuating that Deidara's gay? 'Cause that is not nice, or true. I think. Itachi narrows his eyes and tilts his head to the side.

"Oh, who knew you were such a pompous bastard? She doesn't _belong _to you. And if I were you, I'd think about who I was messing with," He growls. I wonder what girl they're referring to, 'cause I didn't know Sasuke and Itachi share the same love interest. . .?

_'It's you, you-'_

Hey! Do you feel a pressure on my lips or-

Oh My God! Agh! Aghh! . . . Ew.

Why, am I screaming inside my head?

Well, it _may _be because a, totally hot but you didn't hear it from me, guy just kissed me. Yeah, on the lips. My poor virgin lips!

Um, yeah. This is kinda embarrassing. Okay, you all look away! Right now! I don't trust you not to go around and be all like, "Ohemgee! I saws Sakuwa makin' out wit Ita-kun!!" Yeeah. Okay, so you probably don't talk like that but . . .you never know!

Itachi pulls away with a, more than a little, delighted smirk . . . pervert. He then looked up and over my short little tiny self. Wah.

And he gives Sasuke a look I don't understand, then again I don't understand a lot of things. . .so. Yeah. His gaze returns to me, and he pecks me on the forehead lightly before disappearing out my, _still_ open, door. Gosh, loser, can't even close the door on his way out.

. . .

_'So-'_

WHAT THE HELL? I cannot believe that man _kissed _me! What the hell. . .again! I mean, me and him? We're not friends/buddies/acquaintances! I have already explained this, dammit! Wah! I lost my second kiss! Man, and I was planning to make _sure_ this one was with someone I actually liked!! . . .

Yeah, my first kiss was taken when I was _eleven_, I know! I was running, he was running. . .and you can guess how the rest goes. You know, lips smash and spits swap. Yeah. the whole shebang. Who? I ask myself that sometimes too. I don't know. It was some random blond haired kid, with whiske-

OH MY GOD-

"_Sakura._"

Humph, _well_. That sure didn't sound very happy. Gosh, what the hell does he want, anyway? I am _trying _to remember something very vital, the fate of my first kiss depends on it, dammit!

_'Hey, Sasuke looks pretty pissed maybe you _should_-'_

Do I look like I care what mister angry wants? No. I don't. . . .Do I?

'_Oh my god, you are so-'_

You don't think things are going to be awkward between me and Itachi, do you? Because I hate feeling awkward, it feels . . .Awkward.

_'Well said.'_

Shut-up.

"Sakura. Show me to my room. Now,"

I jerk my head up from staring at my feet, and give him my bestest dumbfounded look I could muster.

_'Shouldn't be hard,'_

What's that supposed to-

"_Sakura. _I said, NOW."

"Eep! Y-yes sir!" I couldn't help it, it just spurted out of my mouth. It's just a natural reaction, like when your boss orders you to do something. Kinda like how right now my body's moving towards Sasuke on it's own and grabbing his wrist and leading him to the glass sliding door on the left wall, by my lovely bookcase of total and complete manga awesomeness. Psh. Yeah!

"Thanks." And with that, mister grumpy slides the door open, and disappears through it. Well, hes not a very happy camper.

_'Really? What gave it away, the red eyes or the smoke coming out of his ears?'_

Are you being sarcastic? I hate sarcasm. When I'm not the one using it.

_'So. . .what do we do now?'_

. . .Hell if I know. Maybe I'll. . .dammit.

_'What?'_

I was gonna say go prank call Sasuke again, but I forgot he's_ here_. So, yeah. Man, I'm kinda hungry. Hn.

All of a freaking surprising sudden Karin's in my bubble, a cordless phone in her perfectly manicured nails of doom. She glares at me, from behind her little black glasses. I glare back, and then I couldn't help but wonder, what the hell is she doing?

"Phone call," She sneers shoving the black phone into my nose. Ow. I wriggle my poor little red nose, and snatch the phone out of her hand, sending a tiny glare at her. She merely shrugs and walks out, swinging her giant hips back and forth. Wha- _Ew_.

She's not wearing any pants. . .Ugh. I'm gonna hurl. On Sasuke. Yeah. That's a great idea! Wait, but- Aw man. He's my boss, he might fire me. Damn.

_'You _just _realized that?'_

Maybe.

_'Don't you have a phone to answer?'_

Huh? OH SHIT-

"Hello?" I ask, frantically praying the ass is still there.

"Sakura-chan?"

. . .Why's _Uzumaki _calling me? And how THE HELL DID HE GET MY NUMBER?! Stalker! Oh my God! I'm calling the fucking police you evil whiskered ma-

_Wait_. BLOND AND WHISKERED!

"_Hey_, Naruto,"

"Huh? . . .What?"

"When did you lose your first kiss? And to whom?" I ask, a rushing tone in my edgy question.

There was a pause.

"_Why_?" He asks in an incredulous voice. Insert irritated sigh here.

"None of you damn business, now answer the fucking question, you whiskered freak!" I growl evilly. What? I'm a very impatient person. . .It says so on my Myspace, and Myspace NEVER lies! _Ever_.

_'. . .?'_

Don't question me, mortal!

_'Naruto.'_

Wha- Oh YEAH!

"Well, I think it _might _have been when I was. . .like, fourteen, maybe. With, some blond cheerleader, on accident." He stuttered along, not really sounding sure. Well, what the heck? It HAS to be Naruto, no doubt, I mean, 'cause who ELSE has whiskers!?

"WHAT?! That can't be right! Think back, you imbecile!" I yell, falling against my (totally pwnsome) bed. Jeez, Naruto's such an idiotic person. _Stupid _Naruto.

"_Well_. Let me think, crazy. Hm. . .Oh yeah! When I was twelve, I ran into a girl in my neighborhood. And our lips smashed into each other, if you call that a kiss. Though, after that, she stepped on my toe, and called me a lecher. Ah, good times. Good times."

YES, finally. . .I mean, NO! Why?! You evil, God! So wrong! Excuse me, while I wallow in my little pit of loneliness.

"Sakura-chan?"

"DAMMIT! WHY THE HELL DO YOU EVEN CALL ME THAT, I BARELY EVEN KNOW YOU?!" I all about screech in his general phone like direction. He yelps in surprise, and I hear things clambering around. SO, I'm thinking that _maybe_, I made him fall. Heh, whoops.

"Ow, that hurt, Sakura-chan," Naruto mumbled, and I hiss. Do I look like I CARE! No, I don't.

"Naruto,"

". . ._Yes?_"

"Iwasthatlittlepinkhairedgirlyoukissedwhenyouwerelittle(1) , BYE!" And so then I hung up, via, throwing the cordless against the wall. It crashes into pieces and I am satisfied.

_'Was that completely necessary?'_

And it is now that I realized my phone now lay in a hundred pieces on the wood floor.

. . .OH SHI-!

"Sakura, why did you just chuck a phone into the wall?"

Hur? Oh, look. It is Kakashi-used to be-sensei. Huh. Well, what a _pleasant _surprise.

"What are YOU doing here?" The old man, smiles and leans against my door panel.

"Just wondering when smashing phones became popular, Saki," He smirks.

. . .Ugh! I SWEAR I am going to shave all that old man hair off, and then laugh when he's crying about it. Mwahaha I am SO evil! . . .And then blame it ALL on Itachi, as payback for kissing me without permission.

"Quit talking to yourself, Saki, it's not healthy. And I really don't wanna have to take you to a therapist again,"

WHAT!

"I went to a therapist when I was little?! WHY didn't you tell me, OLD MAN?! WHY?!" I scream grabbing his shirt, and foaming at the mouth. Kakashi's looks scared shit less, and he backs away slightly.

"Uh, I was _joking_, you psychopath," He explains worriedly, still backing away, out my door. Oh.

"Sniff, So you just LIED to me!" I grab his awkwardly shaped hair and jerk him down to MY eye level.

Nobody say ANYTHING.

Dammit.

"Listen here, grandpa, you will NEVER lie to me again, or I WILL sick a rabies infected fox on you, and you WILL die! DO I make myself clear?!" I yell, 'cause I am so army general. Not to be confused with Dollar General, which is a nice and cheap store, that I'm not ALLOWED in anymore. God, you light ONE thing on fire and they kick you out for life! I intend to sue them.

Cough. Anywho.

"Y-yes sir!" Kakashi barks, a small smile, but I can tell he's trying to stop it, so I let him go. And with a delightedly queer wave, he disappears out my door. And at that exact moment in my little time space continuum. And I do mean MY-

"Sakura," I turn to glare, at the owner of the voice, because I know all to well, who it belongs to. Though, I have to admit, I COMPLETELY forgot he was here.

"_Yes_, my dear boss?" I question amiably. . .Sarcasm, is GOD. He smirked at my deliberately spiteful tone. I hate that smirk. Wait, haven't I ALREADY announced this?! Damn, that Uchiha and his ability to make me repeat myself! DAMN him.

He ignored my question, though and made his way over to me, a weird bleak blur glazing over his black eyes. Hm. Well, now I'm slightly scared. SLIGHTLY.

With a flourish his arm is wound tightly around my waist, and he smirks again, this one wider. Okay, now I'm REALLY scared. I try to back away, but he jerks me in the opposite direction of my door way towards my . . .Gulp. _Bed. _Okay, so here's a question: Who stomps away like an whiny baby, and returns all horny and shit!? 'Cause dammit, I like my virginity, thank you very much.

My brain goes on the spritz when he lays me down onto my favorite water bed, his arm still tightly wrapped around my poor contaminated waist. I cringe away, further into my bed. I mean, cause if YOU were in this situation, you'd try to escape too.

. . .Okay, so maybe not, but whatever.

I shut my eyes tightly, if I can't see him, maybe he can't see me! SO, as I'm laying there awaiting the moment he says, "Hey, where'd Sakura go?! I can't see her!", he leans his (evil little smirking) lips to my (poor little unknowing) ear. I can feel his smirk on my skin, and he opens his mouth, this I know, because I can feel the hot breath washing over my face. WHY does it smell like mint? WHY?!

"Sakura. . .I'm gonna make you mine," He breathes, barely over a whisper. But I can hear it just damn fine. I lay there in complete shock staring at the fluff that is his hair.

_'No snarky comments this time around?'_

Yeah, just one.

This is SO cliche.

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(1) I was that little pink haired girl you kissed when you were little

Yeah. So.

Heh, thanks for reading all the way through, ands I love you guys! Review.

I said LOVE dammit, you owe me.

And I know there are at LEAST 90 of you. Do I get that many reviews? Do I even HAVE that many reviews? NO. So review, please. I'll update even faster.

Pwease?

Review!,

red-flower11


	8. Sigh, Back To Work

So, I can say it has been a LONG while. So, I will apologize, _this _time. It's actually been a little over a month.

Anyway, I went to see the second part of the DeathNote the live action film in theaters so. . . YAY!

Disclaimer: Nope. Nada. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. And Never.

And now you may enjoy this happy—but not really―chapter!

Oh, and I apologize for any and all mistakes in this chapter. It's hard to juggle so much stuff, I'm only thirteen dang-it!

Nah, I'm just kidding. Or am I?

Let's keep the rating T, yes?

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"Sigh, I wonder what I should have for lunch today. . ."

I yawn, as I make my tired way up the deserted steps of Uchiha Corps; my black business outfit of business -er- ness constricting my poor little lungs. I came early. . .like, WAY early. So the place is sorta empty, 'cept for the morning police guy. Huh, what was his name. . .?

"Hiya, Sakura-chan! What are you doing here? I didn't know you worked at Uchiha Corps!"

I jump, God dammit! Why the hell are people always scaring me like that!? I peek over my shoulder, my black suitcase at the ready for smacking and find a spiky black haired guy, well, I think. I mean, he has a police-y thing on his head. Ah. He's the morning police. . .He's new.

"Um. . .how do you know my name. . .?" I question suspiciously, stepping towards the elevator still holding my case up. He pouts at me, and I wonder how old the man is.

"You don't remember me, Sakura-chan?" He whimpers.

What the hell kind of police is he? Seriously, what kind of police _whimpers _at people? You know what? It's better not to question the requirement line for officers, they might arrest me or something.

"Uh, no." I reply to his early inquiry rather bluntly, giving him my bestest narrowed eyes. His shoulders sink.

"Aw,"

Hm. I'm sure that if I met him, I'd remember. He actually kind of reminds me of Uzumaki Naruto actually. . .Except his hair is black and his eye are. . .

DUDE! His eyes are freaking RED!! Agh! Itachi incarnate!

"Sigh, oh well, I guess it makes sense. . .seeing as how you've never seen my face before," He mumbles.

What?!

This man. . .GRR! How the heck am I supposed to recognize him, if I have NEVER seen what he looks like?! Is he crazy or something? He's as stupid as Naruto, too!

"Well! I'm Tobi, Sakura-chan!"

. . .

Holy hell.

_'Totally didn't see that one coming.'_

He gives me huge child-like grin and a second later is on me like a freaking excited dog.

No doubt.

_'It's definitely him.'_

Yeah, he's be the only one who's jumped me. . .

_'Except for last night, when-'_

Oh! I bet you guys are wondering about what happened huh?

. . .Well, I'll explain everything after I get upstairs and away from psycho jumper here.

"Er, hi Tobi. I didn't recognize you, without your mask," I try to say into his jacket. Tobi, still grinning his face apart, pulls away.

"Don't worry, Tobi forgives you," He forgives. Psh. Like I _need _his forgiveness.

"Uh, yeah. Well, I better get um, up," I point above me to clarify my meaning, a wave retardedly, and make a break for the already open elevator. I mash the button, just as I hear a "Wait, Sakura-chan!"

Whoo. I made it! I sigh and stretched.

_'Ahem. Sasuke and you.'_

AH. Right.

So, long story _shortened_.

OK, so. Sasuke jumps me and is all like, 'I'm gonna make you mine'

And I'm all like, 'No! Sasuke, don't do it!'

_'You make it sound like he's about to go cliff diving or something,'_

Bite me.

Anyway.

So while he's in the middle of licking my neck and touching no-no parts under ma shirt. . . WHICH I was TOTALLY against.

Just so you know.

_'Uh-huh'_

Screw you.

So he's all groping me and I'm trying to shove him, but mind you I'm strong but not _that _strong. I mean he's all chock full of testosterone and I'm, what?, full of estrogen? Yeah _that's _gonna give me muscles. We ALL know testosterone totally Pwns Estrogen. Duh.

So, my little attempts are completely futile, and while he's just about to remove my shirt entirely the door bursts open and guess who decided to make an entrance?

Little red riding Itachi.

Wait wait, let me rephrase that.

Little _pissed_ red riding Itachi.

Yeah, that's much better.

_'Your an ignoramus, who deserves to be shot. . .five times. . .in the knees.'_

Well, that's . . .pleasant.

_'I know, right?'_

Your a total and complete ass.

So Crazy pissed Itachi comes in and MAN, I have _never _been so glad to see an Uchiha in my LIFE. And _damn_, he just steps over gives me some strange calculating look, and BAM Sasuke's off of me, and onto my floor.

So, I like jump up and yank my shirt down, and for some UNFATHOMABLE reason I feel guilty about being caught getting RAPED. Ugh.

_'Yeah, I'm not gonna comment'_

Moving ON.

Itachi grips his horny ass brother by the collar and-

You know what, let's just get you guys a flashback, while _I _go to my desk, I have an hour 'till Said Mr. Horny Ass shows up, I totally made sure to sneak out early and everything to avoid awkward situations.

-

- Flashback, you may now commence.

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AHH!

Is his hand under my SHIRT?! What the FUCK?!

_'Please excuse the language.'_

Yes.

"S-S-S-S-S-S-Sasuke! I, uh, stop-"

Agh my lips!! Ew! It's like my worst nightmare and my least favorite person mixed into one day! Help me!

_'Calm down, the worst that could happen is-'_

DON'T SAY IT! I refuse to admit it, dammit! I will get out of this, WITH my virginity intact.

_'Woot. You can do it.'_

_What _are you doing?

_'Boosting your self confidence.'_

Well, you suck at it.

_'If I were you, ignore the pun, then I would be worrying about my boss, who's about to rape me.'_

Ah, right.

. . .

AGH! Dammit, get your fucking tongue out of my mouth!! Of course I didn't—couldn't―say this out loud, you know, with the little bugger's mouth on mine. Speaking of which, I can't exactly breath right now. Sigh, cough hack!

He pulls away, and I gasp for my much needed air. He pauses for a moment, for some reason, don't ask me. I'm not God.

"Your so hot,"

DUDE. That is like THE most worst thing you can say to me right now. I am fucking PISSED. But, alas, before I can attempt to run for my Godforsaken virginity, he's back on me like a freaking lion. GOD! You'd think I was like a piece of meat or something!

AGH! MY BREASTS!

Who in the HELL gave him permission to go under my fucking BRA?! Uhn! This is so wrong on so many levels.

Oh, and by the way that was so NOT a MOAN it was a GROAN.

_'Sure sure. And also, there's a river in Egypt-'_

If you weren't me, I would totally think you were enjoying this.

_'Sigh. Yes well, your distress is my happiness!'_

Your a loser-whore.

_'Ooh. Nice insult, I am so offended'_

Ass. Fucking. Hole.

_'Huh. I didn't know you were into Yoai.'_

Wha- Oh.

. . .Um, if anyone asks I never EVER said this, but who knew somebody (NOT Sasuke) licking your _neck _could actually feel kinda . . .nice.

_'Heh, so you ADMIT it!'_

. . . Admit what exactly?

_'Oh, nothing.'_

Snort. I've known you long enough to know that it's _never _nothing. Ever.

_'Don't you have a potential rapist to worry about?'_

. . .Noooo?

_' . . .'_

Sigh. _Fine_.

BAM!

Ahh! Holy fudge! What in the hell was that?!

Wha- Is that Itachi?

I gasp as Sasuke lurches himself off me, and spins around to glare hatefully at Itachi's dark form.

"_Itachi_," Sasuke hisses, still crouched over me. Itachi steps closer, and out of my range of vision, you know, with _Sasuke _blocking my view. Damn him.

"Hn, _Sasuke_. What are you and Sakura doing?" He questions. Jeez, it sounds like he's just asking the weather from a good neighbor and NOT walking in on his younger brother and his love interest about to be doing the naughty-naughty.

Ugh.

"None, of your fucking business! Now get the hell out of here!" Sasuke growls, animalistically and Itachi finally moves back into my line of perfect sight, a pleasantly strained smirk on his face.

_'That's creepy,'_

You can say that again.

"Heh. Of course. _After you_,"

With that, Itachi leans over and grips Sasuke's shirt collar. I flinch away, as he jerks upward and sends Sasuke flying halfway across the room and onto my wood flooring. I lifted my head a little to stare in awe.

. . ._That _was freaking AWESOME! Why the hell can't _I _do that?!

_'Uh, maybe because your _HUMAN_!'_

Are you insinuating Itachi's not human? Because that is totally _UN_-nice.

"Uhn, Itachi you asshole," Sasuke groans, as he rises to his feet. And it's at this exact moment I notice mister Itachi is staring - no – _leering _at my chest showing bareness.

"Eek, stop looking you pervert!" I squeal, girl-caught-naked-ish-ly my face turning red, as I fling myself into an upright position, tugging my shirt down. Who would have guessed the great billionaire Itachi Uchiha was a _pervert_?

_'Definitely not me,'_

Uh huh.

Itachi swiftly turns away in embarrassment and I smirk, I have WON!

"Um, for the record. . .And so I don't get fired. Sasuke totally jumped me. Like a sex crazed maniac!" I exclaim and Itachi pats my messy pink head, lovingly. Er. I hate saying that word in my thoughts, it's lack of masculine manly ness disturbs me.

"I know, no one would ever willingly have sex with Sasuke," He says, stepping away and heading towards the angry Sasuke. No seriously, he even had little black hate waves radiating off of him. Scary . . .in a boss kinda way.

"I'll be seeing you later, Sakura. Oh, and Sasuke's coming with me. We have things to _discuss_," And with that Itachi grabs Sasuke's arm and yanks him out the door, this time closing it behind him with a loud SLAM.

. . .

Dude, I just survived being almost-raped by Sasuke Uchiha AKA my _boss_.

You know, I should totally be freaking right now, but weirdly I'm not. Meh, I'm probably to freaked to really do anything. Yeah, that's it.

_'Yes, that MUST be it'_

OR maybe I'm bi-polar!

_'. . .Um.'_

I mean that would totally explain You-

"Sakura! Dinner's ready!"

I hear Mikazuki call up the stairs jovially. Ew, _jovially. _What a loser word.

So anyway, I hopped down the stairs, continuously sliding my shirt back up on my shoulders, because mister Boss, stretched it out.

As I step downstairs all I see at the dinner table is Mika-chan and Karin. . .?

"Where's the guys?"

I could have sworn I saw Mikazuki smirk.

"Oh, they went _out_,"

It's safe to say I never saw Sasuke again, for now anyway.

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And so that leads us back to here, at my desk in Uchiha Corps. On the forty ninth floor. Yeah, I know what your thinking, 'How come you aren't on the totally and completely awesome FIFTIETH floor?!'

Well, that totally and completely awesome floor happens to belong to the Spa treatment dudes Sasuke hired a long time ago. Everyone in the company loves them, and that would explain the masseuse, you know, from chapter one and stuff. Speaking of which I wonder when Sasuke and those other young multi-million dollar company owners are gonna show.

Hm, hopefully Tobi doesn't find me. That would be very aggravating.

I glance at the digital clock, the little red numbers glowed, 6:28. Agh. _Why _did I come early again?

_'Because your a drugged idiot, who's scared to see her rapist boss again,'_

. . .If anyone but me had heard that sentence than _I _would sound almost perfectly normal.

_'_Almost_, sadly you will _never _be normal,'_

Sad but true. Too true.

"Woah! Sakura-chan! I haven't seen you in . . . forever! You look cuter than before!"

Sigh.

Aw, shit.

_Naruto_.

Wait! I have an idea! In an instant I released the muscles in my head and felt it slam into my desk with a loud CRACK.

And if anyone asks, I'm _asleep_.

_'You do know what you must look like to him. A pink haired retard who just died after hearing his voice? Yeah, that's not gonna freak him out-'_

"Sakura-chan! Are you alright?!" I grimace as I hear Naruto's footsteps come rapidly closer and I try harder to look. . ._not _alive. And stuff.

Naruto grips my shoulders and shakes me back and forth violently, making my head slam into the clock.

_OW! GOD DAMMIT!_

"OW! Fuck Naruto that hurts!" I screech, jumping from my spinny chair.

Too bad I jumped a little _too_ fast, and, wearing high heels, am sent flying towards the ground. I squint my eyes shut tight, awaiting the painful impact that was sure to come. But _noo_, normal-ness is just to much to ask for in my world, because little blond Naruto just HAPPENS to have super great reflexes and just so happens to like me enough to catch me.

God dammit.

_'Nice catch, I give him a nine!'_

Shut the hell up!

When I open up my tightly shut eyes, I see Naruto's shiny blue one's staring down at me with worry. You'd think we were best friends or something-

OMG! I just remembered! Naruto was my first kiss! Well . . .crap.

"Heh heh, thanks." I chuckle nervously, rubbing my head and wondering when the hell he's going to let me go.

"No problem, Sa-ku-ra-chan,"

My eyes widen, so much that they must appear as giant green dinner plates. I peer cautiously up at him, knowing that tone of voice. And I-

HOLY MOTHER OF- Are his eyes RED?! What the fucking hell?!

He grins a foxy smirk and pulls me closer. I feel my left eye twitching.

_'This is too good. Your very rapist prone. Anything you'd like to input _now_?'_

Yeah. Gulp.

_'You may.'_

Is the red eye thing like a hormonal drive? Like, if a guys eyes are red, I should run for my godforsaken life?!

_'Well, seeing as how that's been the case twice already. I think so, yeah.'_

Well, fuck, fuck, fuckitty, fuck, fuck.

FUCK.

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Overuse of the F word beware.

I hope this was satisfying. Don't worry though, the story's still got NaruXhina just bare with me 'kay?

Hopefully this wasn't a disappointment or anything.

Review!,

red


	9. OH MY GOD, NOES!

. . .

I am SO SORRY!!!

It's been FOREVER, I kept getting distracted! I apologize! Really!

Ugh, it's been a month already, jeez.

Again, I'm sorry.

Anyway.

Disclaimer: One can dream, ne?

I apologize for any/all mistakes, I can only do so much

I hope this is satisfying!

Enjoy!

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And so we begin where we left off.

Me wrapped in the arms of another man, a man who is my boss's co-worker, a man with a very large amount of money, a man who really shouldn't even be considered a man seeing as how he's so damn childish, a man who, for the most part, is about to rape me.

Woe is SO me.

"Heh. Naruto-san,I really don't like-"

"Aren't we passed all the honorifics, Sakura?" He whispers in an Oh so cliché manner.

"Not really, seeing as how you usually call me Sakura-CHAN and all." I growl and cross my arms with a hmph. He stares at me with wide eyes for a moment and then pouts like the dejected little kicked puppy he is. And No I DONT know what that looks like, because I have never kicked a puppy. Shut up.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan! I was just messing around, I swear! Please forgive me!" Naruto whimpers, with a pout. I sigh. He's lucky he's cute, or he would be so dead. D-E-D dead!

"Sigh, it's okay Naruto-"

"No! Sakura-chan! Don't get raped!"

I jump in surprise, and immediately grimace as I see Tobi, clad in his police uniform, come rushing over with a pleading face. Sigh. Of course, God, because getting me almost raped TWICE wasn't enough for you! You know, what the hell is up with all these men! Why don't I work with a single woman?! OMG. I never noticed that!

"Who the hell-"

"Aren't you supposed to be on duty, Tobi?" I ask, pulling my way out of Naruto's arms. Because that looked kinda . . . suspicious. Probably.

_'If what Tobi said wasn't enough of a warning.'_

Shush.

"Well, Tobi was worried you might be lonely so Tobi came up to entertain you and he found this guy holding you. . . Who _are _you?" Tobi questions, redirecting the conversation towards Naruto. . .the potential rapist 2.

_'I'm rolling my eyes.'_

I'm not caring.

"I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto states plainly, putting his hand on my left shoulder and sorta pulling me back, towards him, farther away from Officer Tobi.

Heh, 'Officer Tobi' Psh. Yeah right.

Tobi stares at Naruto blankly, before scratching his head in confusion.

"Who?"

. . .Damn, Tobi's lucky that Naruto's not very prideful, 'cause if he were he would have totally just punched Tobi through a wall. Officer or not. I hear Naruto growl, and I brace myself. Just in case.

"Uzumaki you idiot! Owner of Uzumaki Corps. the extremely successful line of ramen restaurants! Ring any bells?!"

If this is just between you and me, I think Naruto is BALISTIC

"Oh! _That _Naruto Uzumaki! Now it makes sense!" Tobi exclaims, grinning. I slap my forehead, if Sasuke gets here and sees these two talking in HIS office/MY Office then . . . Well, I just don't wanna be there.

"You- Ugh, who the hell are you?" Naruto hisses, clutching my shoulder tightly. . . Um, _ow_.

"Me? I'm Uchiha Tobi, I'm the police officer on patrol. I have the morning shift," Tobi explains, grinning the way Naruto usually does. Huh. They are very much alike.

Like VERY much.

"So why don't you _patrol _somewhere else, and leave me and Sakura-chan alone?!"

Sigh, _men_

_'You got that right'_

I wish Tenten or Hinata were here. I have this sudden craving for female companionship. I know. I'm weird.

"No. Thank you very much, but Sakura-chan doesn't belong to you. She's not even your employee, is she?" Tobi smirks. Hm, I still can't believe Tobi's a police officer. He was so immature when I met him with the rest of Akatsuki-

. . .

_Wait._

How in the hell did Tobi, a member of one of the most law-breaking gangs in history, become a policeman?!?!?!?

HE IS SO BREAKING THE LAW! RIGHT UNDER THE LAW'S NOSE!

. . .

Wait.

Does the law _have _a nose?

"You have five seconds to get your ass out of my sight, or I'll-"

"Dobe, Tobi. What the hell are you two doing here?"

. . .Oh SNAP.

"Uh, just leaving, Teme. See ya Sakura-chan!" And with that Naruto and Tobi make a break for the elevator and leave me all on my lonesome. Psh, ASSHOLES.

_'Yeah, sucks to be us. . .'_

Sniffles.

"Sakura?" Sasuke says, suddenly, MAGICALLY, appearing in front of me. I take a ginormous step back.

"Yes, Uchiha-sama?" I answer brusquely, and professionally fold my hands behind my back. Forcing a pleasant smile on my face. Cause I'm strong like that.

Sasuke gives me a confused look. "What's with the sudden formalities? You've _never_ called me Uchiha-sama."

I roll my eyes at the worried tone in his voice. He's such a baby.

_'A baby who rapes people'_

AH. Yes, a baby who rapes people.

. . .UGH. That's weird!

"No reason."

"Fine. Anyway, I need you to write an essay on me, for the LUX. Magazine. All the information should have been e-mailed to you thirty minutes ago."

_Great _more work.

"Yes, Uchiha-sama."

Yeah, I'm being snooty. But who gives a damn? I'm not acting friendly with Mr. Rapist. He's on my DON'T LIKE list. Along with Naruto, Tobi, Fish stick and . . .and Itachi! 'Cause he's Sasuke's brother!

I only smile, when Sasuke sends me another glance and then disappears into his office, closing the door behind him. Sigh.

Phew.

Now, time for that stupid essay on Sasuke! . . .Which sucks. Because I hate Sasuke. And Essays. Ugh, it's like everything I hate all joined into one hateful project.

I am SO sending shit loads of hate mail to that LUX magazine place.

I mean, why the hell do they even WANT an ESSAY on SASUKE? What purpose would that serve, exactly? Ugh, damn those magazine fiends who think up stupid assignments for poor little pink haired secretaries.

Guess I should start, huh?

I step over to my desk, and plop myself down into my CUSHIONY chair of total fluffiness. Ah, the wonders of working in a large company. . . -Insert wistful sigh here- Slowly I open my laptop and wait impatiently as it boots itself up. I also might have hit it a few times. . .but ONLY because it was taking four more seconds longer than it normally does.

No, I am not prick.

God.

AGH! BRIGHT. . .LIGHT IN MY EYES!

_'AKA your laptop's screen.'_

OOH THE PAIN-

Oh.

I knew that.

I put my finger on the touch pad and scroll over to check my e-mail. Which, by the by, is harunosakura(at)Uchiha corps/dot/net. It's completely boring though. But since I have to be _professional _I have to have THAT instead of supah-strongness(at)yahoo/dot/com

I mean, the latter would have been so much COOLER.

I click my tongue, as I scroll through my many e-mails, until I find the one with the subject, and I quote 'LUX ESSAY' Oh yeah, they're a creative bunch alright.

I click on it, and am faced with a long list of the requirements for the stupid Sasuke thingy.

. . .

Oh My God! This SUCKS. And just so you have an idea, here is a SMALL fragment of the list. Oh, and the comments in the parentheses, those are mine.

28. Explain how Uchiha Sasuke-san (Yeah, and they all say _Uchiha Sasuke-san. _I'd just say Sasuke. Less work for the fingers.) reacted when he was nominated most successful man of the year in '07

32. What are Uchiha Sasuke-san's plans for the future? (Who CARES?!)

46. How would Uchiha Sasuke-san deal with a large in fracture of the stock market? (That probably didn't even make any sense to you, that didn't even make sense to me. And I even know what the stock market is)

54. Does Uchiha Sasuke-san plan to start a family? (Well, I can tell you he isn't getting one anytime soon, with the way he acts. Especially with his raping problem.)

88. How many secretaries has Uchiha Sasuke-san gone through, before he kept with Haruno Sakura-san?

Huh. I didn't know Sasuke even HAD any secretaries before me. . .

I should totally GOOGLE that!!

I open up the internet and click on the small white box, labeled web search and begin to type.

WEB SEARCH: Sasuke Uchiha Secretaries

It got over 24 billion hits. Sigh. Craps, this is gonna be a while.

Silently, I sift through the many different things. The first one was something on Myspace about a Sasuke fangirl site or something or other.

Another one was something to do with . . . me! Awesome!! Ahem. Anyway.

AHA!

Wikipedia has EVERYTHING, and here is just what I'm looking for!

Sasuke Uchiha – Article, Wikipedia

. . .has had seventeen secretaries. Not including his current one, Haruno Sakura. It was never completely verified if this rumor is true, but it is said that Sasuke fired every secretary right after he slept with them-

. . .

'_Sasuke SLEPT with them?! Ew, he probably has some STD or something. . .'_

. . .

_'Sak-_

OH MY GOD! MY BOSS IS A MAN WHORE! WHY?!

And I faintly hear Sasuke sneeze.

Sigh. Well, that was a very disturbing fact that I didn't need to know-

_'But clears up everything!'_

What are you saying?

_'Think about it. Wiki said that Sasuke fired them only AFTER he slept with them.'_

. . .Nope. I'm not getting anything more than the obvious.

_'Sigh. You irritate me.'_

And you, me.

_'Sasuke tried to sleep with you last night!'_

. . .Uh huh. Annnd?

_'OH my God, is it seriously possible to be as retarded as you are, right now?'_

Hey, I resent that.

_'Sure.'_

ANYWAY enough about my retardedness, you have more 'splaining to do!

_'What are you, three?'_

SHUT UP AND TELL ME!

_'Technically, I can't shut up, if you want me to tell you some-_

I'm seething right now.

_'Yeah yeah, okay. So, if Sasuke tried to sleep with you, and he slept with his previous secretaries, right before firing them. . .then if you put two and two together. SASUKE IS GONNA FIRE YOU!'_

. . .

AGH AGH AGH AGH! NOOOOOO!

HE WOULDN'T! WOULD HE? OH MY GOD, SASUKE YOU ASS-

Wait.

But Sasuke didn't actually _sleep _with me, right? SO technically he's not firing me.

_'Says you.'_

Aren't you supposed to be helping me feel better?!

_'No not really'_

Fuck you.

_'Don't you have an essay to write?"_

. . .

WAHHH! MY LIFE SUCKS!

_'Wimp.'_

_-_

_- _(In which two hours, of pure, unadulterated torture occurs. That you just get to skip over willy-nilly!)

_-_

Oh my God, my _neck._

I am still in the same spot I was two hours ago, and I'm still writing an essay, and I'm still scared shitless that Sasuke is gonna fire me.

_'Yup, we're screwed'_

What's that supposed to mean?!

'_Obviously, Sasuke's gonna fire somebody like YOU. Your just not the right kind of secretary, for a young horny man like Sasuke. You know?'_

I think I do, but I'm hoping that what I think is wrong. Because that's just ew.

_'. . .What if I told you, there was a way that I could get Sasuke to NOT fire you?'_

Then. . .you would have told me that there was a way that you could get Sasuke to NOT fire me.

_'. . .'_

I'm mentally sticking my tongue out at you!

_'Don't get smart alecky with me! Grl, I have a way for you to keep your job!'_

GRL?! What the heck? This is my MIND not a CELL PHONE!

_'Look, just trust me on this one, okay?'_

Seriously?

_'Seriously.'_

Fine. What?

_'You know what I said a minute ago, about how you weren't fit to be the secretary of a young HORNY man like Sasuke?'_

I don't think I like where this is going. . .

_'Well, if you just act more. . .Sexy- sensual, provocatively around him, then maybe he won't fire you!'_

Oh, NO. You are not getting ME to hit on Sasuke! Never, I won't do it!

_'Not even to keep your job?'_

No.

_'Not even for a Scooby snack?'_

Well. . .I _do _like the scooby snack-

NO. I WILL NOT FLIRT WITH SASUKE AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE GONNA MAKE ME!

_'Sigh. I guess your right. I'm never going to be able to get YOU to do it.'_

. . .Your acting suspiciously. . .

_'Sakura. I'm going to have t do something I swore to myself I'd never do.'_

Then don't do it

_'I have to. I'm sorry, but to keep your job, I'm going to have to _take over your body_'_

WH-WHAT?!

_'Again, sorry!'_

All of a sudden, this inky looking black starts to fade over my eyesight and I begin to feel dizzy. And then. . .nothing.

-

-

-

Ah, It feels weird to be in Sakura's body like this. . .but then again I guess its sort of my body too, ne?

I jump to my feet, and admire the ability to do what I want and be able to see everything through my own eyes, not Sakura's.

_'OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU _DO_?!!?'_

Oh, hey Sakura. I'm just gonna take your body on a little test drive! Hehehe.

_'Ugh! My body is not a car you crack head! And what was with that evil chuckle at the end of that sentence- NO. You are NOT going to hit on Sasuke!'_

Oh HELL YEAH I am!

Remember Sakura, this is for your benefit! I do this because I CARE about you!

_'YOU LITTLE- WHEN I GET MY BODY BACK I'M GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST AND HE'LL TAKE YOU AWAY! I SWEAR IT!'_

Whatever, Sakura.

Now.

It's time for some Bow Chica Wow Wow. MWAHAHA!

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Yeah.

SO, you can bet there's going to be lots of Sakura-Sasuke action, or as inner Sakura says 'Bow chica wow wow!'

Review!,

red


	10. Locked Doors and Dark Staircases

AGAIN WITH THE FOREVER-NESS.

Its been almost a month!

I'm sorry it just takes so freaking long to write this! Don't get me wrong though, I love it!

Disclaimer: Nah. And even if I did it wouldn't be half as good as it is now.

I apologize for any/all mistakes. It's pretty easy to make a mistake with a story as confusing as this one. =)

Enjoy!

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"_Sasuke-kun_,"

_'Ugh, that s so gross! Do you HAVE to purr it out like that?! EW!'_

Shut-up, Sakura. It's hard to concentrate, when your screeching at me like a fucking banshee. Ignoring the NEW inner Sakura I slink my way into Sasuke's office. He lifts a suspicious eyebrow at me, and I smirk. A BEAUTIFUL smirk of totally awesome smirkiness. And no, I am NOT like Sakura.

_'Hah.'_

ANYWAY.

"Uh, Sakura? What do you need, is there a problem?" Sasuke asks, setting down a packet of stapled papers and sitting up straight, leaning back against his chair. His big boss chair, that makes him feel important.

_'Because he isn't. He's just conceited like that'_

Hush.

"_Well_," I begin, leaning against the edge of his desk. "I just needed to _speak _to you."

_'AGHHHH! MY SKIRT'S RIDING UP! IT'S RIDING UP, IT'S RIDING UP! STOP IT! STOP IT!'_

Yes, yes. I _know _it's riding up Sakura, dear. That's what it's _supposed _to do. Sasuke stares at me for a moment, before lifting his eyebrow again. He's definitely suspicious.

_'WAHH! I'M A WHORE, I'M A WHORE, I'M A WHORE!'_

No you're not, now be quiet. I'm not gonna look hot if my face is scrunched up with frustration because of you.I carefully, _sensually _rest my head on my upper thigh. He watches me intently without speaking. _Now _we're getting somewhere!

_'NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO-'_

Sakura. Zip-it!

Slowly-

'_Whorely'_

Sigh. _Slowly _I shift my position, so I'm sitting with one leg on either side of his chair. Sitting on the edge of the desk my legs hanging to the floor where my heels barely tapped the ground. And suddenly the left side of his mouth, quirks up in a questioning smile/smirk and he moves his hands to rest them on either side of my waist, leaning forward and looking up at me, level with my navel. Which, by the way, is a belly-button in case you didn't know. _Sakura_.

_'I KNOW what a navel is!'_

I return his smirk with a sexy smirk of my own-

_'Ha! Yeah right. That's MY sexy smirk your using on him you know!'_

Yes, yes. I'm flirting with him for YOU my love.

_'EW. I don't LOVE you!'_

But you will! I'm like the brain you never had!

_'You little-'_

I lift my hands to run them through his black hair, which is FUCKING SOFT, btw.

_'What did I tell you?! This is NOT a cell phone!'_

He _purrs_ in pleasure, before pulling me off the desk and onto his lap. Now, straddling him, I caress the side of his face and lean forward to-

_'NO! DON'T KISS HIM! This is, like, all my taboo mixed into one!!!'_

My lips press against him. And DAMN he's a possessive BASTARD. His hands fly up from my waist to my hair, hungrily devouring me, then he tugs me closer to him to-

_'Suction our faces together like a plunger in a toilet'_

Well, I would have put it more romantically, but. . .yeah. Except he tasted GOOD. Mmm. It's like eating your favorite ice cream! I thread my fingers back into his hair, and giggle when he nibbles none to lightly on my bottom lip. Practically growling.

_'Uh, _ow.'

I happily grant him entrance, and his tongue plunges into my mouth. Licking and tasting every inch of space, predatorily as if by tasting my mouth he was marking it as his own.

_'The little possessive, insensitive, ass. UGH. Your MAKING OUT with him!!!!!"_

One of his hands, move from the back of my head to my lower back to press me tighter to him, leaving not even the tiniest gap between our bodies. Whoo! Is it hot in here or what?

_'Pervert'_

Ignoring you.

I move my hands from his hair, down his neck to his tie. Carefully, I loosen it, to reach the buttons of the shirt underneath.

_'Oi! Stop that!'_

Our lips still locked together, I begin to undo the buttons of his white undershirt, and I feel him smirk against my mouth.

_'Sex crazed bastard'_

To my surprise, he pulls away. Before tilting his head to nibble on the vein in my throat. . .

_'You did NOT just MOAN-'_

Aw, but it feels so _good_.

_'I am going to fucking MURDER you!'_

_After_ I screw Sasuke, would be nice.

_'EW! EW! EW! EW!'_

Finally, I got his shirt undone! His lips still to my neck, I rub my hands over his chest, and feel the chiseled muscle that ripples underneath my fingertips.

_'. . .What are we poets now. . .?'_

I giggle discreetly when I feel his moan against my throat, ans he clutches me tighter to his chest, slowly making his way back up to claim my lips in another kiss.

_'Yup, this story has gone to the dogs'_

His tongue entwines with mine, and he moans again, vibrating my lips pleasantly. I lift my hands from his chest to wrap them around his neck and pull him closer to me.

_'Now would be the perfect time for that wonderful cliché to happen-'_

_**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**_

_'Ah, the beauty of coincidences.'_

AGH! Oh my God! Oh my God! Immediately I rip myself out of Sasuke's reluctant grip and hop off of his lap to straighten my skirt, and fix my hair. I can see in my peripheral the irritated look Sasuke's sending to the door.

"Er, uh, come in!"

The door swings open, and Naruto's standing there-

_'Big surprise.'_

Neji Hyuga and Shikamaru Nara are behind him also.

_'WHAT! OH _shit _I was supposed to be out there to greet them, dammit!'_

Oh yeah, they're supposed to be staying here aren't they?

_'UGH I freaking hate you! I hate you more than Polar bears like COKE. And that's SAYING something!'_

. . .Still as stupid as ever, I see.

_'AGH!'_

"Eh, Sakura-chan? Teme?" Naruto sends me and Sasuke a suspicious look, before his eyes trail down from Sasuke's face-

_'OMG, NARUTO'S GAY?!'_

Oh SHIT. Sasuke forgot to button his shirt back up! AH, oh hell!!111

_'Not a fucking CELL PHONE!'_

"Hey, teme. . .why's your shirt unbuttoned like that. . .?"

Sasuke tenses up, and I immediately try to cover my red face.

"And why's Sakura's face all red. . .?"

I tense up, and avert my eyes to stare at the ground silently.

_'Because your a whore. And whore's get caught. It's, like, the way of the whore. . .I should totally write a book on that-'_

Shut-up Sakura! I'm not a whore, you imbecile. I'm just . . .experienced in the way of sex. . .

_'. . .Are you fucking kidding me?'_

"S-Sakura-chan. . .? You and Sasuke didn't- You wouldn't-"

_'I _wonder _can I take my body back . . .? Now seems like a good time to try!'_

NO, wait Sakura-

And suddenly black is in my vision, and I waver slightly.

-

Hellz YES!

"SASUKE TRIED TO RAPE ME!"

Sasuke's head immediately jerks towards me and gives me an incredulous look. I smirk evilly and mouth 'Payback, bitch'

"_Teme_. . .You tried to rape, Sakura-chan. . . _I'll kill you_!" And with that screeched, Naruto lurches forward, most likely to shred Sasuke up into little Sasuke pieces. Heh. AWESOME. Oh and inner?

_'. . .What. . .?'_

Fucking PWNED!

_'I thought you said this wasn't a cell phone!'_

Yeah well, I change my mind.

"No, Naruto!"

"Seriously, Naruto! Quit being so damn troublesome!"

I stare openly at the fiasco in front of me- Hah, _fiasco _sounds like disco. Hehe. ANYWAY. Shikamaru and Neji are holding Naruto back as the blonde thrashes violently around, his eyes red again-

Oh My GOD! They're red _again_. It must be a man thing or . . . or something.

_'How observant of you.'_

You're a bitch you know that?

Anyway, ignoring the evil slutty whore inner-

_'Oi!'_

Sasuke clears his throat, and rises to his feet. "Naruto! Control yourself, you dobe. Before I call for Tobi. I'm sure he'd be positively _delighted _to kick you out of here." Sasuke states calmly, but you can practically _feel _his threat in the air.

Eep! He's _scary._

Shivers.

_'Ooh, I never knew you were actually scared of him'_

OF COURSE_, _I'm scared of him! Who _isn't? _And besides, he's my boss. I'm SUPPOSED to be scared of him.

_'This coming from the one who made out with him then claimed statutory rape'_

Uh, no. YOU made out with him. _I _claimed statutory rape. . .Whatever that is.

_'How the hell can you be an assistant and NOT know that?'_

I don't know, but it looks like I did it, huh?

"Ugh, fine you bastard. Sakura-chan! Show us to our offices!" Naruto demands, pulling himself from Neji and Shikamaru's hands. I glower at him. I'm _Sasuke's _secretary not his, he can't order me around! Loser. With blonde hair! Deidara looking idiot!

Sasuke gives me a little push in their direction, and I glare at him in confusion. "Go, Sakura." He orders, all I'm-fucking-pissed-off-at-you-go-away ish. _Fine_. Be that way. Loser number two.

"Sure," I mutter, before stalking over to the three overly hot millionaires and shoving them out the door, closing it shut behind me. "C'mon. Apparently the boss can't take a joke . . ." God. He's such a freaking pansy. One thing, and he goes EMO. I mean it, I can't deal with this! I'm his secretary not his babysitter for God sakes! I need an aspirin, my head hurts!

Stupid Sasuke, and his stupid head achy ways.

"Ne, Sakura-chan? Did Sasuke _really _try to rape you?"

I roll my eyes in Naruto's general direction. "He did last night. So I was just paying him back, the little bastard."

. . .

Why do I feel three sets of eyes drilling into the back of my head?

Huh.

Maybe I should-

"SASUKE ACTUALLY TRIED TO _RAPE _YOU?!"

OW! FUCKING HELL?

"What the hell, that was my freaking ear?" I growl, rubbing my bleeding ear. Well, not really bleeding. . .but whatever. Neji and Shikamaru are looking at me like little fishies in a pond and Naruto's got red eyes again. I scratch my head. . . "Do you need eye drops or something, Naruto?"

He stares at me for a moment. "Wha. . .?"

He must be unaware of his changing eye color. . .WAH! That's not fair! I want changing eye colors! That'd be so freaking AWESOME! "Never mind."

We reach the elevator, that for some reason took FOREVER to get too, and it's only, like, ten feet from my desk. . .

I am now questioning the laws of physics.

As I press the tiny little orange glowing elevator button thing, Neji turns towards me with his hand sticking out. "I'm sorry, for not introducing myself earlier, but I am Hyuga Neji, the owner of the multi-million dollar Hyuga inc. Nice to meet you."

_Hyuga inc? _These guys aren't very creative are they?

Ick. _Formalities. _Sickening.

"Uh, yeah. I'm Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke's secretary. A pleasure." I mutter taking his hand and limply shaking, never once sparing him another glance. Ooh, a blow to the ego. HAH. Your not as good looking as you think you are, Hyuga!-

. . .

OH MY GOD! Are Neji and Hinata related?!

My mouth agape I immediately turn to question him, but then the elevator doors open and everyone just sort of automatically steps in. It's a knee-jerk reaction when you work in a huge business like Sasuke's. It's kind of pathetic actually, but . . .meh. We can't help it, we're losers.

Extremely successful losers. But still losers.

"So. . .Sakura-chan . . .about why I called you last night, before you hung up on me," Naruto mutters, if only to break the tension in the tiny elevator as I press the number 48 with my thumb. Oh, DUDE. I totally forgot HE had called ME. Meaning he wanted something! 'Cause Naruto NEVER calls me. He bothers me at work, but in general we're not the best of friends or anything. And besides, I don't think Sasori'd approve of me having a male friend. He's overprotective like that.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I just wanted you to know that I was hiring for secretaries and I was wondering if you had anybody to recommend?" Naruto asked, as that aggravating 'PING' sounded and the elevator doors opened.

Why we didn't just take a flight of stairs to get down ONE floor, I'll never know.

Rich men are so lazy.

"Uh, yeah. Some of my friends are really interested in getting a job here, so maybe one of-" I broke off, suddenly reminded of Hinata. "OH! Neji! Do you know Hinata Hyuga?!" I _tried _not to yell. _Really_.

Neji's pure white eyes grow wide, as he flinches in surprise at my sudden outburst. . .Which happens all the time, he really needs to get used to it, if he's going to be here for a week. Hehe.

"Uh. yes. Hinata is my younger cousin," He answers. Polite, even though he's disconcerted. Oh, he's _good_.

"Really?! SQUEE! Hinata's one of my bestest friends in the whole entire Japan!" I yell, leaping in the air! Yay!

. . .

Wait. _Why _am I happy again?

_'I don't really know.'_

Eh, whatever.

And what the hell are they all staring at?

"What the hell are you all staring at?" I question, sending the three of them curious looks. They immediately turn opposite directions muttering about not knowing what I was talking about.

. . .

WAH! Everybody thinks I'm CRAZY!

But I'm _NOT_!

_'Ha. That's hilarious.'_

Stop using that freaking dry sarcasm you always use! It makes me hurt.

_'Dry sarcasm, dry sarcasm, dry sarcasm, dry sarcasm, dry sarcasm, DRY SARCASM!'_

Agh! I'm DEAD. So much PAIN.

"Uh, Sakura-chan? The door's locked. How're we supposed to get the door open?" Naruto asks, jostling the handle on one of the office doors and interrupting my thoughts. . .

Well, shit.

It's _locked_?

Who the fuck locked it!?

"Alright somebody go get Tobi!" I order pointing at the elevator. Everyone just sort of stares at me with, Aren't-YOU-the-secretary-YOU-get-it-! looks.

Hn. Screw offs.

"You're the men! Get Tobi or we'll be in the hall way all day!" I growl, and Naruto shoves Neji in the direction of the elevator.

"No! You do it, Naruto, if you're so keen on the elevator!"

"No! I was merely pushing you! You do it!"

"Why don't you both do it!?"

"Why don't YOU do it? You're the secretary!"

"Hey! That's not fair!"

"Sure it is!"

"Shut-up Neji! Don't pick on Sakura!"

"Then you go, if you don't want her too!"

"How about you go, you're the one with the girly brown hair!"

". . .What the HELL does that have to do with. . .ANYTHING?!"

"I don't know! I just . . . was making a statement!"

"Well, her hair's _pink_!"

"Hey! Shut-up! I was BORN this way!"

"Sure-sure! That's what they ALL say!"

'And s_uddenly the conversation has nothing to do with the keys.'_

"Leave her alone! Only cowards pick fights with women!"

"Shut-up Naruto! You're such a dick!"

"What?! Don't talk to Naruto like that, girly-man!"

"What'd you call me, _pinkie_?!"

"WHAT!?"

"You heard me!"

"Go get the fucking keys from Tobi!"

_'And magically, we manage to get back to the subject at hand.'_

"YOU!"

"You're the oldest!"

"SO? Pinkie's the shortest!"

"Hey! I take that personally!"

"I don't care!"

"Asshole!"

"Get the God damned keys, Neji!"

"You get the keys Naruto!"

"I wanna stay here with Sakura and Shika-"

. . .

"Hey, where'd Shikamaru go?"

_'And they finally realize the pineapple head already left to acquire the keys at roughly the time they started to insult Neji's hair.'_

Shut-up, you stupid inner!

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Sigh.

It's late, but the boys finally got in their respective offices and settled down. And now I'm climbing the stairs (which is really creepy, since if you look down all you see is spiraling never ending stairs) to return to me and Sasuke's floor-

_'Sasuke and _I'

Shut the fuck up! I'm too tired for your good grammar!

Anyway.

_ME AND SASUKE'S _floor, and then as I'm on the seventh to the top step, I suddenly can't see anything!

AHH! I'M BLIND!

_'You idiot. The light's turned off.'_

Eke?

Why?

_'Psh. Hell if I know.'_

Eh, I'm kinda scared. Where's Tobi when you need him?

_'You DO know Tobi's a police officer, not a janitor?'_

Yeah, well. I'm sure fixing lights comes in the job description. . .or not.

_'More likely not.'_

You're mean-

"_Mm. Sakura. Let's have some fun."_

HOLY SHIT!

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!

_'Well, if I'm not mistaken, someone is holding you. And just whispered in you're ear.'_

EEE!

AGH AGH GAH! I'M GONNA GET RAPED! FOR THE _THIRD _TIME!

"_It's okay Sakura. . . just enjoy it."_

DID HE JUST _NIBBLE _ON MY EAR?!

AHHHHH! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

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Cliffie.

Mwahaha!

I so eeevil.

Anyway, hope you liked!

Review!,

red


	11. Stalkee Meet The Stalker And Kiss

Disclaimer: Don't own.

I apologize for any/all mistakes in da chapter. =)

I just finished up my semester exam week. So YAY! Faster updates equals happier people. Right?

Enjoy. Or at least TRY to enjoy.

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Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God-

OH GOD, I'M GONNA LOSE MY VIRGINITY!

"W-who the hell-?!"

"_Shh. Quiet, my love. Do you want somebody to hear?"_

. . .

"If you're gonna rape me . . .duh."

"_Your awfully spunky for somebody who thinks they're going to be molested. . ."_

HAH. Spunky. What a stupid word.

_'For a stupid rapist.'_

"I'm not gonna be molested, I'm gonna be _raped_. Get that through your thick rapist skull."

_'So. . .You're gonna lose it in a stairwell. . .Nice.'_

Shut-up, asswipe.

"_Ah. And this would be why I chose _you_. Sakura,"_

. . .

"Because I get raped a lot?"

_'Sigh. Shouldn't you be. . .I dunno. . .calling for help?!'_

Yeah. I guess I should be.

"_. . .Er, no. You know, you're making it really hard to rape you."_

NAH, REALLY?

"Yeah, well. That'd be kinda the point. . ."

So, I'm thinking. . .should I run _now_ or . . .what?

_'Are you like, in shock or something? Normally, you'd be mentally screaming us all the way to Timbuktu. . .Is that how you spell it?"_

Hell if I know.

"_Ah, that would make sense."_

I'm starting to _really _wonder just who in the hell this is. . .

_'Sasuke?'_

Nah, if it were him, he'd have just come out and told me it was him. I mean he's raped me before, and he was pretty open about _that_. This guy's purposefully whispering so I can't figure out his voice. And stuff.

_'Aa.'_

Yeah.

. . .

I'm _smart_-

'_Oh, shut up'_

"So, like, who the hell are you?"

I think he just tensed up, or something. Though, he keeps nibbling on my left ear-

_'Maybe you should seriously consider carrying pepper spray with you or something.'_

Yeah, or a hand gun.

_'. . ._Sure. . ._That's realistic.'_

"SAKURA?!"

Wha-

"Sakura where the hell are you?!"

_Sasuke-_

"_Till next time, Sakura."_

"Hold on! Wait-"

. . .

_Aw._ He left. Dammit. And we were just getting to know each other. . .

_'Yes, heaven forbid you don't have your stalker and stalkee bonding time.'_

You know how the old saying goes, 'Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer'?

_'Uh, I guess.'_

Well there you go.

_'Sigh. . .I _don't _think that's what it-'_

"Sakura?"

And then suddenly Sasuke's hands wrap around my shoulders and I can hear the relief in his voice as he sighs next to my ear.

Ew, Sasuke's germs.

_'I'm rolling my eyes right now'_

"Er, yeah. How'd you know?" I mutter, in the pitch black, if I hadn't already known Sasuke's voice I wouldn't even be sure this man was him. I wonder where Stalker-san went . . .

_'He must be fast-'_

Yeah! Like NEENJA fast, man!

_'Yeah. . .sure.'_

"I'd recognize your scent anywhere," He mumbles, subconsciously petting my head.

. . ._That's _not disturbing, on a whole new level of freaking creepiness.

_'Well, it happens. You know, when your boss is a-'_

Man whore?

_'Er. . .Sure.'_

"Right. . .Well, um, could you possibly, maybe, tell me how the hell the lights went out? Here. In the creepy, dark, stalker filled stairwell, maybe?"

Sasuke kinda pauses, and then I feel him shrug.

"I dunno, the whole building's out. It must've been the circuit breakers. Either someone deliberately turned it off, or it blew. But we won't know, until Tobi gets a hold of the electrical maintenance level and sends them to find out."

Dude.

"How the _hell _could all twenty five circuit breakers blow at the same time?!" I screech, confusedly. Because that's a shit load of explosional circuits! Sasuke ruffles my pink hair, much like Itachi's been doing recently. . .

"Then maybe some people did it on purpose or something," He says, absently. Like he doesn't _care _that his entire company is in a black out.

How evil. I feel sorry for Naruto and Shikamaru alone in the dark. . .and _maybe _Neji. But he's mean. . .Nah, you know what, I hope he was in the elevator when the power stopped. Heh heh.

"So. . .what now?"

I think Sasuke shrugs, again, before leaning against the. . .the wall? Maybe. . .whatever the hell that big blob of black is.

"Now. . .Now, we wait."

Simple.

And Easy.

I like this plan.

_'But you DO understand that you're probably gonna be here for at least an hour, alone. With Sas-'_

ALONE.

Shut-up. Don't ruin my high.

_'Fine, but you know there's a river in Egypt-'_

I said SHUT-UP.

_'Sigh. Whatever. Just sit down.'_

And I do. I step over to the stair below the one Sasuke's sitting on and lean with my back against the wall too, staring out at the darkness that I can't see.

Well, actually, I CAN see the darkness, I just can't see what's IN it. Yeah. That's what I meant.

I can feel Sasuke breathing beside me, and he lifts his arm to probably brush his hair out of his face. "Listen, Sakura. . .about last night. . ."

Oh god.

NOT THE SENITMENTAL APOLOGY! NO!

"Uh. . .yeah?" I mumble, bowing my head to stare at the concrete steps.

_'You know, he was going to bring this up eventually.'_

I guess . . . Doesn't make it any less uncomfortable though.

_'True'_

"Well, I guess, I wanted to say. . .I'm . . .I'm sorry." He says stuttering and sounding extremely awkward.

I take a big breath and scratch my head.

I mean, cause seriously. . .an apology doesn't actually suffice for trying to rape me in a T rated story.

At all.

"Yeah, well. . .I'm over it. Kinda. I mean, it's not like I'm not used to it."

. . .Oops. That slipped.

Oh No! I sound like a whore! AGH!

_'Smooth.'_

". . .What does _that _mean?" Sasuke asks incredulity obvious in his voice, since, you know, I can't see his face or anything. 'Cause it's dark and stuff. STILL.

"Well, you know, Naruto. . .Stalkers, your brother. The usual as of late I suppose,"

_'It's funny how you manage to pass as a nearly intelligent adult when you speak, but internally you're a complete dumbass.'_

_Ha ha_. Very funny.

"_What_?" Sasuke growls, and I can feel, yeah, _feel _his penetrating gaze on where I'm sitting.

Uh. . .is he mad?

_'Possessive.'_

Of what? Me?

_'Yup.'_

AW, dammit! I hate it when that happens, him and Sasori are more alike than they'd like to think!

"Um. . .Nothing. I was, being sarcastic. Really."

_'Nice save.'_

Shut-up. I'd like to see you do better.

_'Touch__é__'_

"Is someone stalking you?!" Sasuke exclaims, sounding completely out of character.

_'How very OOC of him.'_

"Er, not _stalking _per se. . ." I utter, inching down a stair step. Safety first.

Warning: Sasuke may be prone to combustion when angered. Please wear protective clothing when attempting to tell him you're being stalked and molested by a stranger.

_'Ooh, nice.'_

Thank you.

I think maybe, Sasuke twitched, before lurching forward and grabbing me around the waist.

AND scaring the hell outta me in the process.

He was growling, it sounded, before I felt myself pulled onto his lap. Because freaking leaving me in the dark alone with him just wasn't enough, now I have to endure sitting in his God forsaken LAP.

VIOLATED. I'M BEING VIOLATED.

_'Hm. You say this, _not _when you're about to be raped by a stranger, but while you simply _sit _in your bosses' lap. . .'_

Well. . .I. . .Because. . .And he. . .Aw, forget it, I can't justify it.

_'You have serious mentality issues.'_

Oh yeah? Well, _you _like to use BIG words!

_'Oh, I am _so _insulted.'_

You bet your ass you are!

"Hmm, Sakura?"

AGH! Holy shit! Damn you, inner! You keep distracting me from the more important things in life!! Damn YOU!

"Wh. . .what?"

Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact-

_'Oh, shut up.'_

"I was thinking. . .Maybe, instead of having all the guys come to my company, we should just go to one of my resorts. That way, we'll still be able to have those merging meetings, _and _we'll be on a beach. What do you think?"

What do I _think_?

SKMRFUHSEY!

HELL YES, BITCH!

_'Ahem. Language.'_

Right.

Heck yes, female dog!

. . .

_'. . .I don't wanna know.'_

Heh.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I'd totally do it! I'm all for it, let's go, let's go, let's go!" I exclaim bouncing around excitedly. But before Sasuke could say anything, he groaned. For some strange reason. And his hands flung to my waist to hold me still and totally completely RUIN my happy dance! Ugh.

Loser.

"Don't do that."

Yeesh, what's _his _problem?

_'You do remember you're on his lap, right? And you also know where the male reproductive organs are-'_

AGH! STOP! I GET IT, I GET IT!

_'Too much?'_

MUCH TO MUCH! DAMMIT, UGH! MY VIRGIN MIND!

_'Don't be such a baby.'_

"Anyway. . .I have a proposal to make, Sakura." Sasuke interrupts my thoughts, smirking evilly down at me.

Eep!

Shivers.

"W-what?"

"You can only come along if you kiss me,"

. . .

_'AHAHAHA! THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS! AHAHA!'_

Shut-up you're not making things any better! Sniffles. WHY ME?!

"And why would I do that?" I grind out, glaring my glariest glare I could muster. His smirk gets wider and he pulls me closer to his chest. Ugh.

"Because, if you do. Then this trip will be an all expense paid vacation, and you can bring anyone you want. I'll pay for it. _And _everyone you bring can stay at the lodge with you and me."

Oh C'MON.

Um?! Um, um, um, um, um! I don't know! WAH!

_'Just kiss the man,'_

Heh. Kiss the man.

Like Kiss the girl. But flipped around in a more sardonic sadistical horrific way.

_'Positively marvelous'_

". . .Fine. ONE kiss. One!" I grumble, pouting in the opposite direction.

Sasuke's smirk is getting as big as his ego, I just know it! And then suddenly, his hand is to my face, caressing it, yeah, you heard me right, I said _caressing_. He leans down, lightly pressing his (gross, disgusting, violating) lips to mine, and that FREAKING SMIRK is STILL THERE!

God! Is it too much to ask, for the man to just stop smirking for ONCE in his life?! Once! Jeez.

I think he just NIBBLED MY LIP! AIEEE!

_'Sigh'_

. . .

I have an idead- I mean idea! I'll not move at ALL.

. . .

You know. . .my mind's getting kind of fuzzy. . .

Uh. . .I'm not really aware of what the hell I'm doing, so subconsciously I lean forward, into Sasuke, to press my lips harder to his. And just, by the way, Sasuke _actually _kinda tastes goo- _Okay_.

Yeah.

And his tongue's in my mouth, tasting everywhere and everything, and strangely I'm okay with that.

_'Wow. You're really drunk off Sasuke aren't you?'_

Automatically, I lift my arms to wrap them around Sasuke's neck, as the Uchiha sucked on my bottom lip, feeling really . . .weird. In a good way. I think. Maybe.

_'DAMN. Something is seriously strange about the last few paragraphs.'_

And somewhere in the back of my mind, I notice the lights have come back on, but I suppose I'm too distracted to notice the dark shadowed figure around the corner.

By the way, that's _foreshadowing_.

_'Sigh, for some reason I feel like we've switched roles in this story.'_

-

-

-

"_Don't worry, my dear Sakura, I'll be joining you at the Uchiha's resort. And you'll finally be _mine."

-

-

-

For some reason, this chapter struck me as kind of rushed sounding. Or is that just me?

I tried to get it up as soon as possible so. . .

Review!,

red


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